“Happily Married” (Poem)

I love you.. I truly do,

I promise to be yours through and through,

I’m lucky in ways I can’t comprehend,

Never bonded so deep, this I don’t want to end,

The years have been tough, we’ve both had to fight,

So that we can stay safe in our bubble, every day and every night,

I will die for you, I will buy for you, I will try for you and I will cry for you,

I will also look up to the sky and ask why I would even decide to lie to you,

We started out honest, I gave you the real me,

I meant every word when I expressed all we could be,

But somewhere down the road I lost myself in the darkness,

With no lights to guide me I walked on the edge with no harness,

To be a man is to be silent when problems occur,

And by suppressing emotions all logic becomes a blur,

To be a man is to cheat and be a self centred soul,

To be a man is to make mistakes when he loses control,

I never planned on living a secret second life,

I mean how can I neglect such a wonderful Wife,

I mean how can a love so strong fade over time,

Is it just the way it is or is it something deeper going on in ones mind,

A man needs to feel proud so when he starts feeling worthless,

He makes mistakes, which to the world seems like he done them on purpose,

He’s not looking for something new, he’s just looking for that feeling,

That makes him feel like a man, that makes his worth have some meaning,

So next time you want to judge a cheater and a liar,

Just know some of us are burning internally in fire,

That we confuse something real with temporary lust, with no love or desire,

Just so we can pick ourselves up, and climb a little higher,

To hurt you is to hurt me, I broke us both,

But I have never given up hope, even though I have come close,

The guilt brings me shame, so I distanced myself,

Hoping time would heal all, and the pain would all melt,

But no…

By breaking your trust I will take your abuse,

Because that’s what I deserve, just let it all loose,

Whilst I deal with the pain of two broken hearts,

One’s yours and one’s mine, we can work towards new starts,

To be a man is to be sorry, for his selfish mistakes,

I promise to learn and grow, whilst my cheating/lying heart aches,

To be a liar and a cheater is a burden I’ve unhappily carried,

To be a man is to lie to my self, thinking we are still…

Happily married.