The Sunnier Side

I’m learning to trust my life when the story so far seems to point to either a dismal conclusion or some sort of a triumph of spirit. I choose the latter, mostly because it’s unbearable for me to wallow in the difficulty of my struggle for too long.

I’m always surprised when I encounter negativity. When I see it in my own attitude, I realize it is an opportunity for me to employ compassion for myself. I experience my negativity as a form of suffering. It seems to expose a shrouded belief system. It’s like a veil between my understanding and a greater truth that something good can come from seemingly limited or confusing circumstances. Setbacks overwhelm me to tears sometimes but my resignation is hopefully temporary. From my lowest moments thoughts of improvement are born. I’m always looking for a way to feel just a bit better.

A setback I went through lately was related to a medication change. I made calls to my PCP and they were very slow to return them. I had just restarted physical therapy because I was experiencing dizziness and what felt like vertigo. After intense evaluation from my physical therapist and my pharmacist it was suggested to me that I may be experiencing hypo-tension. I am treated for high blood pressure and recently my dose was increased. My medications were adjusted and happily I am doing much better.

In coping with medical issues, I’m in a newly surrendered place that’s very challenging. I’m heartened and cheered every time I experience a glimmer of hope. My equilibrium is restored when I dwell in the possibilities of things calming down and looking manageable again. Even imagining improvement in my circumstances has an uplifting effect on my heart. I’m delighted when it comes from within. More often I read about of or meet others who share an optimistic mindset with their stories or musings related to breaking through the clouds of their thinking to see a brighter side of things appear before their eyes.

There is no shortage of heartache and confusion in my story. There is no shortage of pain and suffering in the world. I’m not so sure what can be done in the larger picture but I am more certain than ever of my part in managing my own perspective. I can pursue a better way of feeling about things and it seems to result in an improved version of my being.

Food for thought, I’m hungry for this lately…

©Rochele Stuff 2015

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