The Confederate Flag: What’s the Big Deal?

“It’s just a logo.”

For those who don’t know, this is the wrong response. To almost any question. But definitely this one. It was almost met with a “It’s just your jaw” and an aspirational roundhouse kick to the face, but I am not Chuck Norris. If I was, I wonder how I would have responded, or if I even would.

But I was not about to let someone take me out of my character. I thought about how tricky a situation this was to navigate for myself and my sister. I thought about the access I have to friends from across life phases, cultures and experiences. And how I could have a much bigger impact in a post online than I would have to the jaw of this chick I never had to see again.

So to you all, let me open the question. The Confederate Flag: What’s the big deal?

I’m going to take some time to tell you what happened, why it matters and what you can do about things like this if you see it and you want to.

Part 1. See, what had happened was…

I wanted to get a special T-shirt made, so my sister and I went to this kiosk on the ground floor of the mall by our house where they do that type of thing. I’ve been coming to this mall since I was 13 years old. We were all set to go, silk-screen press was about to come down, when my sister spotted on display a shirt with the confederate flag on it.

“Raechel, they have a confederate flag shirt here.” — are exactly the words you do not want to hear at the exact moment you are about to buy a product you really want from a business. There is no wrong or right answer as to whether, as a person of color, you continue to give that business your money or not, but it is a quick path to Lose-Lose-ville.

I decide to talk to the woman, who has not been the most polite person in the world to me this time nor the last time I gave this kiosk my business (to buy my Symonne sweatshirt.. I almost walked away then because she gives a lot of attitude, but you never know what’s someone been through, right?).

I’ll spare you the full conversation, although I’ll never forget it, and try to hit the key points.

So I ask her: “Do you know the history of this symbol? Do you understand how we’re offended to see the Confederate Flag on a shirt where we shop?”

Woman: “It’s just one shirt. What is the big deal?”

Me: “That flag is a symbol of inequality, slavery and oppression. It’s scary.”

[Sister: “Could you please just take it down?”]

Woman: “We don’t just serve you. We have to cater to all people here. I don’t support them wearing it, but if they want it, I’ll make it.”

Me: “Would you display a Black Lives Matter shirt?”

Woman: “If you want one, I’ll make you one. Doesn’t mean I agree with what the shirt says.”

Me: “What you make and what you display are two different things. What you display makes a statement about what you support or at least is part of your branding and your marketing in order to attract customers and make money. It reflects on your business.”

Woman: “It’s just a logo. I’m not taking it down. People like it.”

Me: “The people who wave that flag, or wear these shirts nowadays, hate me. They scare me. Seeing that flag tells me it is an unsafe area for me, and I avoid it in the future.”

Let’s pull out of this conversation now because honestly, it was circular, it ended in a way that was really upsetting, and I, my sister, my money and my sadness walked away (with no T shirt). Why sadness? That wouldn’t have been there 4 years ago. In fact, I know it wasn’t. Because I was there. I’ve been here. And I was shopping at that same place, and trust me, it was Confederate flagless.

To put this interaction in context, I see the Confederate Flag probably once a month, so I have had the chance to think about these things. (I am called a racial slur by a stranger about as frequently, but those are separate occasions). I see it on trucks on the highway. I saw it once hanging at a gig I played- that was probably the most unsettling because there was a noose hanging there too. I have seen it on T-shirts in a gas station in Yolo — I bet they got mad that Lil Wayne jacked their town name (and when I came out of the gas station, the word “n*gger” had been written in fingerprint on my car window).

Living in SF, super liberal, and it’s still about once a month. And every time, I have to ask myself what to do. What kind of person am I going to be today? I usually assess how many people are around, who is around (do they look dangerous?), I fight back involuntary images evoked of the KKK, of people screaming in my face that, as a mixed race child, I am an abomination, of disappearing black women all across the country that are not getting media coverage.. I take stock, and if I feel safe to do so, I try to voice my truth, if not to the storeowner, then to whoever I am with, with the hopes that the ripples will spread out and eventually I may never have to see one of these things again.

Part 2: The rebuttal?

So yeah, I try to voice my truth. I like to think I do it articulately, with class and in my character. The responses range from “It’s just a logo.” To “It’s a Rebel flag. It’s a symbol of proud Southern heritage.” to pure outright (or should I say alt-right) “fuck you, n*gger b!tch”es. Let’s start with what I have a hard time understanding: why do some people embrace the Confederate flag? Why is it a problem to ask for it not to be shown?

“Heritage, not hate.”

The easiest way to rebuke this one is to say, I am of Southern heritage. It’s true. Any black American who traces their lineage back to the slave trade is. My father. My father’s father. His father. But you don’t see us waving this flag.

Ok, so it’s about Southern pride. (Some) People see it as a symbol of the South as a bound and discrete place. The advocacy of states’ rights and the limitation of federal oversight. The Confederacy. As much as I want to buy this minimalist government argument or the Southern pride thing (on a good day, I can accept that as a starting point to a conversation), it comes down to this for me:

When people say ‘heritage, not hate,’ I cannot ignore the fact that a large part of that heritage is hate. This part of our nation’s history is inseparable from slavery, and I believe slavery is wrong. Do I think your slave-owning ancestor was wrong? On the wrong side of history, but I did not know him as a person, I was not alive during this terrible time in our past, and I am not sitting in front of his kiosk asking him to take down a flag, so I really am not talking about your heritage. Yet people react like I’m trying to run over their grandfather’s grave…

White discrimination and black privilege

So, are white people supposed to be ashamed of their heritage? ‘I can’t honor the flag that my great-grandfather fought and died under?’

White supremacist organizations have begun to take on the rhetoric of civil rights organizations lately. I hear about how poor parts of white America are. I hate hearing that, and I believe we should fight for social justice on a class level, not just a race one. I hear about how, because I don’t want to see this flag (it’s nothing personal, I also don’t like burning crosses, swastikas or Pepe the Frog anymore), white people are being marginalized, discriminated against and feeling unwelcome in their own home. Obviously, this is not my goal. But if your symbol to represent pride in your ancestors is one that is inextricably linked to the subjugation of mine, we have an issue. Let’s call it an opportunity to find a common ground. Why do I care?

So glad you asked.

Part 3: What is the big deal? A history of tears, tragedy, treason and terror

First, let’s just clear up what I’m talking about: the so-called “Rebel Flag” a.k.a. the Confederate flag was the official flag of the Confederate Army- when the South was fighting to maintain slavery as a means to protect economic interests for white plantation owners, a.k.a. slaveowners.

It is a reminder of treachery and treason in support of inequality and subjugation. It reminds me of back when our country rejected nationalism. It reminds that if happened once, it can happen again.

I am not condoning radical Islamic terrorism, but how can you call it a terrorist attack every time someone commits a heinous crime preceded by the cry of “Allahu Akbar,” but not when they scream “white power” or brandishing the Confederate flag before murdering people of color?

You know how many photos of Klansmen I’ve seen with the confederate flag? I didn’t make the association up myself. It has been deliberately used to terrorize. And before you say not all showings of the confederate flag precede a lynching, I want you to think about how many times someone has said the words “Allahu Akbar” (it means “Allah is the greatest”) without committing a terrorist attack.

Especially now, the confederate flag and other symbols of racism, hate or oppression are a hot button. I’m fresh off the heels of news of the alt-right demonstration turned violent clash in Berkeley this weekend. To see it on the streets is one thing. In a mall, where I walk with my family, where kids are passing by, that’s another. You see one shirt. Then you start to see a few. Then you start to see people wearing them. Then you start to see KKK recruitment flyers (true story). I’m already terrorized. And you either knowingly contribute to it or worse, you are trying to capitalize financially on something you “don’t agree with” yourself.

I’ll give you that the flag may be a symbol of sacrifice to you, and if you have an ancestor that lost their life in the “War of Northern Aggression,” then I will say, while they may have been on the wrong side of history, they are not living in our present, and theirs is not the blood with which we will write our future.

I am human. And I am here. Can we move forward?

I have been asked in or after these moments, “Do you think someone can display this flag without promoting implicit or explicit racism?” No, I do not. Maybe… Maybe (but it’s hard in 2017) before I took the time to tell you that it is hurtful and offensive to me. When someone tells you that something offends them, you have only a few options on hand. You can care or not care. You can act to change the offense or not. You can tell them not to be offended, you can add insult to injury, that’s certainly what T shirt lady chose to do, but you have lost the privilege of ignorance to my offense. You are culpable.

Part 4: What you can do

If you see something, say something. It of course represents the business owners, but it also represents your community, what they will allow and what kind of core values can be financially sustained within it. You can always boycott the business or reach out to their corporate overlords or the town officials, the PTA, etc. Don’t just walk away. Or walk away, but make a phone call after. It matters.

For those like the woman at the kiosk, who may not agree with my objection of displaying a shirt with this symbol of oppression, at least know the impact that has on others and own that.

At the end of the day, it is within the rights protected by the Constitution of this “great” (or waiting to be made great again?) nation for people to be able to wear this hurtful symbol on their shirts, put it up in their bars, stick it on their trucks, hoist it up in their front lawn, sell it at their T-shirt kiosks, whatever they want to do.

I am not saying they should not be able to because that same Constitutional right lets me criticize this administration.

I am saying that they should be held accountable for their decisions, whether they be financial or personal or both. And I am asking for people to be conscious of the impact of this symbol that haunts my peripheral vision all too often. It is not just the macroaggressions that hurt. It is the accumulation of microaggressions that pile up and erode our country, like a festering cancer. It is all our responsibilities to remove every tumor we see and are able to, no matter how seemingly small. Because this fucked up my day, my sister’s day, my mother’s day and cost you however long it took you to read this.

To the woman that owns the kiosk and the people who display or wear this symbol, I am also saying that you do not represent America. It took less than ten minutes for us to reach the head of the mall leasing organization, explain what happened and get the shirt removed from display. Not because you don’t have a right to make or sell it, but because they do not want that image or message associated with their business or our community.

We had a peaceful protest in the works for tomorrow, but this is better.

Good idea, Mom. Thanks.