Male Abuse

If we were honest with ourselves, then when we heard the term abuse we would immediately conjure up the image of a woman. She might be beaten and battered, of any race or age. She might look helpless and broken, fragile even. She could look and be a number of different things that are already naturally associated with women. It is because women are found to be delicate and naïve creatures that the image of a man in the same situation is easily overlooked. But the fact of the matter is that men of any age, race, or sexual orientation are not out of danger from the same treatment that has befallen the opposite sex.

The problem is so underestimated that even a search on the National Sex Offender Public Website produces next to no information in regards to the statistics of male victims. However, there are a number of various statistics where women are concerned. What the website does state, in one of the few times that it does mention that male victims exist, is as shown: “Males tend not to report their victimization, which may affect statistics. Some men even feel societal pressure to be proud of early sexual activity, regardless of whether it was unwanted.” Do the societal pressures mentioned mean that it has become almost taboo for males to step forward with the details of their assault?

There are many reasons for why men never confront or open up about being a victim of abuse. After reading a number of stories about men who are considered survivors, it looks as though most are terrified that the women will go to the police and twist the story to make it out as them being the victims and the men being the predator. Unfortunately, their fears are often not unwarranted. There was one man who, after he took the abuse from his now ex-girlfriend, was told by her roommate, “I don’t care how big you are! You can’t take that abuse and feel fine.” Luckily, there are some people out there that see the abuse men go through and don’t shame them for it. However, it doesn’t help that there is a double standard that men cannot hit women without consequences, but its okay for women to hit men without the blink of an eye. Even if a woman was to admit to it, a police officer wouldn’t do so much as break up the dispute and issue a warning; although when a man is accused of “hitting” a woman, he gets kicked out of the house. What kind of example does it show to the next generation when men are the ones taking the abuse?

When it comes to abuse, there is no “more” abuse between man and woman; abuse is abuse. Not only does the abuse effect the men/women, but it also effects the children. Children at an early age take in all they see; once they see abuse going on, this effects them. When it comes to parents, if mommy is fighting with daddy, daddy is not going to do anything to mommy because they don’t want to set a bad example towards his children. While the children grow up, they have their mind set that men can’t abuse women, but if a women does it, it’s okay. Although, when it comes to fighting, what it considered abuse and what is just bickering?

Bickering is just a petty argument over small things. For example, who left their unwashed dish in the sink or who’s turn it was to clean the yard. Abuse is more to treat any living thing with cruelty or violence, either regularly or repeatedly. Some signs can be physical, if your partner pushes you or has a hold on you tightly. Abuse is not just physical, it can also be verbal; your partner saying that you can’t find anyone like them, asking where you’ve been. Also another way of abuse is also mentally; your partner can make you feel insecure about how you are or how you dress, feel bad for hanging out with your friends or family instead of with your partner, or make you feel nervous about anything you do even if your partner is not there. It’s easy to spot physical abuse on others, you can tell by scars, bruises, sprains, broken bones, etc. Some other ways to spot it that’s not physical, is a person being far off and worrying about their partner, claiming that their partner wouldn’t like what they are doing, needing their partners approval for everything they do, or blowing off plans to hang out with their partner. No matter the sex, race, or sexual orientation, abuse should not be tolerated to anyone.