Why I Proposed to a Girl in Finland

Proposing to someone is scary, right?
There is no doubt about it.
This is the first time I have proposed to someone in Finland.
My mind went blank at the thought of proposing to her. Hands almost became numb. Words did not want to come out of mouth.
But still I had to do it.
And I was rejected.
She turned my proposal down very politely. She had a lovely smile on her face when she said ‘no’.
I still remember that smile. I guess I will remember it for a long time.
Well, she always has that lovely smile. She rarely forgets to display that happy facial expression when she talks to people.
I have been blown away by the radiance of her smile over and over again.
And a smile is very powerful. Always. It can work wonders. It instantly puts others at ease, and helps build quick rapport during interactions.
Not a spur-of-the-moment action
I admit that the emotions I feel sometimes defeat my ability to act rationally. (Is not it the case for all of us at some point in our life?)
But my decision to propose to her was not purely emotional.
I thought about it a lot in the past couple of months. I really did.
I tried to connect the dots. I tried to put together every piece of the puzzle. Then, the picture I got in my mind was not perfect. But it looked very suitable.
I did not ask myself if I was satisfied with it. I forced myself to believe that I was ready to begin.
I did not think too much about whether she would accept or reject my proposal.
In these situations, overthinking and worrying too much just cripples the mind. Too much analysis causes paralysis, which eventually leads to inaction.
I knew that I would not be able to act if I overthought. Plain and simple truth.
Only thinking leads to nowhere. It is action that takes us somewhere.
I also knew that rejection might come. Well, rejection is part of the game. It is unavoidable.
In the world of dating and mating, there is no magic formula that works every time. Otherwise, we would never have heard about rejection and other negative outcomes.
Why I proposed
Let me try to be rational here. I guess I proposed to her for 2 reasons:
1) You miss 100% of the shots you do not take.
This omnipresent quote has inspired me to take action many times in my life. If I try, I will get a result. If I do not try, there is no result and I am still stuck in the same situation.
I compared it with an unread romance novel. Unless I read the book till the end, I would never know if the individual worlds of the couple finally converged or diverged.
I had a feeling that she would say ‘no’. But I also had an equally strong feeling that she would say ‘yes’.
There is always this 50/50 chance in such situations.
But I repeatedly told myself that I would never know the final answer if I did not give it a go.
I told myself that it is better to be sad now than to regret later.
Well, to be honest, I am not sad. I have mixed feelings about it. I have to say it feels quite liberating.
If I say I am totally sad or upset, it would not be 100% correct.
I did not want to regret later. Regret is a bitter feeling. I did not want to feel that way in the future.
So I took the shot.
2) The only thing I can do is playing my own part. Nothing else.
And that is what I did. That is what I consciously chose to do.
For me, it was impossible to control the final outcome of the matter.
But it was possible in every way to take control of my actions regardless of what the ultimate result would be.
So I did my part. I did what I could do.
I do not know (and do not even want to know) if I did it in the best possible way but the most important thing is that I took steps that I had complete control over.
I had no control over what she would say or how she would react to my proposal.
I had no control over whether she thought it was the best time for her to let someone into her world and tie the knot.
I had no control over whether she saw me in the same way as I saw her.
I was only able to give my own input from my side. What would happen to the final output was beyond my control.
The mating process involves two human beings, and each of them has their own role in it.
But I see it more as a responsibility than as a role.
The word responsibility evokes a far stronger sense of obligation than role does.
And that, I believe, helps incredibly when it comes to approaching or proposing to someone.
If I have feelings for someone, it is my responsibility to let that person know about it.
If I wish to share my life with someone, it is my responsibility to ask if she is also interested in that type of bonding with me.
I wanted to fulfill my own responsibility in the entire process, and I did.
And that is why I proposed.
