My attempt at a phone detox:
I never considered myself a massive screen scroller. I felt in comparison to everyone else I’d see deeply necked into their phone, that they had a problem. But me? Well I knew how to live my life in the moment! That is until I checked the screen time feature on my phone and found I could spend anywhere between 4 to 8 hours on my phone, in a day!!
Realising that I could be doing so much more with those precious hours; I took action (by picking up my phone) and started searching for a book on phone detox!
I landed on “How to break up with your phone” by Catherine Price. I highly recommend for an insightful read on human behavior and phone addiction.
My first experiment:
I decided I was going to take my dog for a walk around the block……………without my phone.
At the thought of it, my hands were sweating, my mind was racing.
What if there is a car accident and I need to call for an ambulance? What if another dog escapes their property and attacks my dog? What if my partner’s current back-pain exacerbates and I come home to find him fallen to the floor, hand stretched towards the door and calling for help?
I realised that I live my life in a series of looping “What ifs” or better known as intrusive thoughts which behaviourally translates into me obsessively planning for the worst. I also realised that my relationship with my phone had enabled it.
So, I took my dog for that walk around the block sans phone. And everything was fine! The earth continued to turn. Nothing horrendous happened. No ambulance. No dog attack. The only back pain my partner suffered was from me telling him to get out of bed to make sure he could get out of bed so I could go for my phone-less walk.
What I put into practice:
- Turning off notifications
I wanted to take back the control of when I receive content, not the other way around. However, my FOMO did not agree and I battled with reaching for my phone more in case I had missed out.
I trialled this for over a month, and it turns out that I missed out on absolutely nothing important (except for the calendar notification to let me know it was my best friend’s 40th birthday, she’s fine and has forgiven me in the name of behavioral science).
It turns out the notifications had been drawing my attention back to my phone over something useless like 10% off Dominos 2 for 1 pizza delivery, which then directed my “focus” back into a mindless scroll only to emerge 20 minutes later. Experiment =’d remove the notifications, lessen the scroll.
- Leaving my phone in my study/ having it out of eyesight.
Out of sight, out of mind eh? Not so much. I found myself reaching for my phone just for the need to hold it, and then being snapped back into reality as I realised that I was feeling around my desk for a phone that I’d stashed away. I even trialled holding the tv remote while I sat in the lounge room to lessen the separation pangs.
My findings (eventually) were that it’s actually really lovely to sit and be in the moment without your phone anywhere near you with the threat of interruptions entirely removed.
I think we feel that if we’re not actively doing something then why not pick up your phone and have a scroll, but even sitting and watching TV with a loved one can be a present and shared moment.
- Not sleeping with my phone in the bedroom
I’ve always been able to fall asleep quite easily, however I’ve been known to bolt awake at 2am and spend a few hours worrying about something tiny and incidental. My believed anecdote was to scroll through my phone until I tired myself out and went back to sleep. No surprises here that it turns out my phone was a big reason as to why I was awake and not able to get back to sleep.
Taking the steps to leave my phone in my study as I was going to bed helped to create the distance needed to break the habit. I replaced my phone, with a book! My quality of sleep improved along with the continuity. It’s almost like asleep-me knew that my phone wasn't in the room, so there was no reason to wake up at 3am and scroll through my insta feed.
Looking into the future…
As much as running these experiments has yielded positive results. It’s been difficult to keep in practice. I consciously have to work really hard at all of the above as I’ve found it easy to fall back into bad habits; sometimes I don’t even know that I’m actively engaging in the bad habit and it can take a poke from my partner to remind me that I’m caught in a mindless scroll. I even had one more experiment I wanted to trial, but could just never bring myself to do it = a complete turn off of my phone for 24 hours.
My breakup with my phone is going to be an ongoing saga, but I’m determined to kick those unhealthy codependent tendencies to the curb.
What phone detox tips have worked for you?
