Faith

In Search of Light
Jul 27, 2017 · 3 min read

What is faith? Its everything that is antithesis to an atheist. It is not a scientific or evidence based method to solve any problem. Yet, so many of us find strength and the will to keep living based on faith.

I was a faith based person. When I got tested, I tried to comprehend why sane and sensible good humans are tested? Why should I have to prove my “Faith”? Why me? Is faith really expressed in showy variety of deities, frenzied chants, opulent offerings, meaningless strictures and rituals, and blind adoration of a force no one has empirically proven. How medieval and regressive can faith be?

The harder the lessons life began to throw at me, the quicker the faith in me eroded from my conscience. It was replaced by a form of arrogance and derision for those who follow their faiths in various forms. I lost respect for those who followed their faiths in their varied, weird and vulgar forms. I was better than them, because I did not pursue a notion of doing things in a strict order to win the preference and blessing from the Higher Power. I believed our actions should be rational, scientific and in a world of reason, faith based acrobatics had no place.

I am here at this point in my life. I have the means and the intelligence to drive the outcomes I want. Yet, I am utterly helpless and absolutely broken with no control over the outcome of life’s travails. I am in turns angry, upset and desolate, probably going through the seven stages of grief to handle the situation. My family tells me I must have faith. How do I bring back the feelings of belief and complete submission without fighting an internal battle of wills? For my sake, I must.

Arrogance and derision. Who am I to judge how you follow your faith? Can an atheist judge those who believe? Should I be smirking when you tell me about your recent pilgrimage to a holy place or how you observe a fast on every Thursday for your children’s health? Who am I to decide that your way of pursuing your inner peace is unscientific, therefore, not worthy of logical discourse? Haven’t I seen miracles happen to random people? Why is the benevolent God more kind to some and not so kind to others? If all of us had the access to wealth, power and capability, why is it that we sometimes find ourselves completely helpless to effect changes in our lives?

I do not have the answers. I do know that my arrogance and writing off of others faith-based actions do not have a place in my life anymore. I am not exceptional, who deserves exceptional experiences or achievements in life. I do not become superior in my spiritual pursuit if I fail to see the value of three rounds of genuflection around the temple deity brings to others who follow those rituals. Clarity of mind, purity of thoughts — isn’t this what we strive to achieve in our lives? I am nobody to pass judgment on your pursuit of faith and eventual happiness.

I will follow my path and I will learn not to trivialize or judge your path.