EMOTIONAL FREEDOM
Emotional freedom for me is the sense of being free from feeling like a victim of my emotions, and allowing those emotions to be in control. I gained my emotional freedom by no longer being reactive to those emotions. Instead I choose my response, so am no longer controlled by these emotions.
Emotional freedom is reached by learning from, and managing, your emotions, so you are able to take responsibility for your own feelings, which can be either ‘wounded’ or ‘core’ feelings.
Wounded feelings
Wounded feelings are feelings such as anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, anger, fear of the past or future, resentment, emptiness and ‘aloneness’. We create wounded feelings through our own thoughts and actions. For example; when I tell myself that I must not make a mistake when baking a cake for my son’s birthday, it is likely that I will begin to feel anxious as a result of what I am telling myself.I have learned that feelings are our inner guidance system, which provides us with useful information. My wounded feelings were telling me that I was rejecting myself in some way — ignoring my feelings and needs, judging myself, or turning to various addictions to avoid my feelings. Even making others responsible for my feelings, such as being emotionally dependent on another person for my feelings of self-worth and happiness.
Inner Core painful feelings
Inner core painful feelings are feelings that come from life; from people, events and circumstances. These core painful feelings are sadness, loneliness, hopelessness, grief, heartache, heartbreak, sorrow, fear of real and present danger, helplessness over others and events, or outrage over an injustice of some kind. These feelings emerge to let us know that someone is being unkind, or unloving to us. They can also indicate when a situation, or person, is likely to put us in danger, so we should attend to our needs and love ourselves.Although we are not the cause of our core feelings, we do have a responsibility for managing them, with love and compassion for ourselves. What is important to understand, is that ignoring core painful feelings actually results in the occurrence of wounded feelings.
Inner Core favourable feelings
When we begin to take emotional responsibility for our feelings, we create inner core favourable feelings. Feelings such as joy, passion, happiness, ‘aliveness’, fulfilment, inner peace, and excitement. These are the feelings that tell us we are in alignment with our values, thoughts and actions.
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is when we are open to learn about how our actions and thoughts are causing our wounded feelings, and what kind of loving actions we need to take for ourselves.
It is when we can compassionately embrace our inner core painful feelings with a soft and gentle kindness.
It is when we can allow ourselves to be PRESENT, to FEEL AND RELEASE these inner core painful feelings.
It is when we can reflect and learn about what they may be telling us about ourselves, others and events.
Emotional Dependency
With emotional dependency we see ourselves as the victim of others, or of circumstance and events. Instead of compassionately learning from our feelings, we choose instead to avoid them. We reach for the use of addictive substances, unsuitable people, or develop habitual, unhelpful behaviour such as anger, resistance, blame and withdrawal.I have learned first-hand that avoiding responsibility for my feelings leads only to misery; to wounded feelings and an internal environment of suffering.
The Path to Emotional Freedom
My spiritual journey took me down a path that enabled me to take responsibility for my feelings. I made a conscious choice to HEAL my emotional baggage. This path not only allowed me to experience the joy of emotional freedom, it has also become my life’s purpose to help others to experience that emotional freedom and spiritual growth.
First published on my Facebook page on Friday 5th June.