And you are not my follower.

Photo by Alice Donovan Rouse on Unsplash

This weekend I took a “social media detox,” something I gravely needed after the influx of people who’ve clicked the little “follow” button under the 150 characters that are meant to showcase the human behind the machine.

Recently, my Instagram community has grown to over 11k. And while I know that’s really not much in the scheme of things, it has overwhelmed me to my core.

At the beginning of this year when I started my blog and Instagram, I did so with the sole purpose of making others feel less alone. I shared stories of my 15-year long journey…


(From an ex-therapist and eating disorder warrior)

Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash

Have you ever felt suddenly tense, anxious, paranoid, vulnerable, or overwhelmingly emotional and thought “this feels out of proportion to what is happening”?

Yet you feel completely unable to cope with, manage, or make sense of your sudden emotional reaction?

This is usually a sign that you have been triggered — and most of us are triggered more often than we realize.

Whether it’s a nuanced tone that reminds us of parental disapproval, a smell or sound that reminds us of a traumatic event, or criticism that triggers deep-seated low self-worth.

A trigger is any event, person, comment, energy, place…


It’s Science.

pink dotted wall with white letters that say “DON’T PANIC” stuck to the wall.
pink dotted wall with white letters that say “DON’T PANIC” stuck to the wall.
Photo by Tonik on Unsplash

If you’ve ever had a panic attack, you know it can be a de-humanizing experience.

When I have a panic attack, I feel like I lose total control of my mind, body, and emotions.

My hands quiver, my heart rate increases, I feel like punching a wall, I hyperventilate, I feel like I’ve gained 30lbs and can’t breathe because my stomach feels so full, and then I start to cry.

After having over 20 panic attacks in my life, studying anxiety in school, and being in therapy, I have learned a buttload of tools to help get me through a panic attack.

What is Happening When You Have a Panic Attack

A panic attack is the body’s natural and normal response to threat. In…


Recovery is a capitalist’s false promise.

Photo by Camille Brodard ~ Kmile Feminine Creative Designer on Unsplash

Years ago, I was asked to speak at a National Eating Disorder Awareness event about my story. It was the first time I publicly shared my story, and I was terrified.

When writing my speech, I asked myself what I wish I could have heard as a young girl struggling with an eating disorder.

What I wish my mother could have heard so that she would know how to help me.

What I wish strangers could have heard so that maybe they could understand the complexity of my struggles.

I would have wanted to hear the truth, which terrified me…


The 5 traits of resilient people, and how we can harness these factors to prevent global, collective trauma in the wake of the COVID-19 crisis.

Photo by Jared Erondu on Unsplash

I believe that we are at risk for collective and transgenerational trauma.

Collective trauma is when a group of individuals experience a post-traumatic stress response as a result of the same event. Wartime veterans, survivors of plane crashes, or holocaust survivors are examples of groups that may experience collective trauma.

Did your parents ever have behavior around saving food, household items, or tinfoil that you brushed off as eccentric? What about a parent who uses power and control to get what they want, but seemingly cowers in respect to their own parents? Maybe you’ve visited a country and felt unwelcome as soon as your nationality is discovered? …


Right now, the rules are unpredictably ambiguous, and my inner child is having a full-blown meltdown.

Growing up, I wanted to be a good girl. To do so, I knew I would have to follow all the rules — if I did, then no one could punish me, and I would never have to face disappointment. I looked for rules everywhere — in my parent’s verbal and non-verbal cues, in their reactions to my behavior, and in their interactions with each other. …


And while we’re at it, if you’ve never been, now is the time to start.

Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash

Now is NOT the time to forget about your mental health.

Imagine an athlete training for the Olympics.

She follows a specific plan. A routine. From nutrition to workouts to sleep, she follows a regimen.

She trains her body to be in optimal shape so she can be prepared for the highest peak of her physical abilities.

When she arrives at the Olympics, no matter the weather, no matter her injuries, no matter the circumstances, she has prepared as best she could for the toughest competition of her life. …


Working from home for the first time is like suddenly being told you have to poop in the same room that you cook.

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

I have worked from home/worked on the road for the last 5 years, so I am no stranger to what it’s like to wake up in the same place I answer work e-mails. I am also very familiar with the intense boredom and lack of social contact that one suddenly faces when making the transition from office life to work-from-home life.

I started working from home in 2015 as a videographer and photographer, and this experience triggered…


Practical Coping Tips to Care for Your Mental Health Amidst a Global Epidemic and True Isolation

Photo by Ewan Yap on Unsplash

This time on our planet is hectic, uncertain, and challenging. No matter what part of the world you are from or on, I imagine you have felt the impact the Coronavirus outbreak.

I have found that while the fear of contracting the virus itself is high, the paranoia, anxiety, and emotional response is higher.

As people are asked to work from home (WFH), schools close, and grocery stores get wiped out, many people are experiencing deep seeded fear about what’s to come.

Some feelings you or others might be having:

Paranoia…
…about contracting the virus
…about spreading the virus
…about elderly or vulnerable family members

Uncertainty… …about what…


Find out what your Listener Type is and amp up your listening skills with these therapist-approved listening skills.

Photo by Tim Gouw on Unsplash

Whether you’re a coach, podcaster, going on first dates, or that friend everyone goes to for advice — you can always improve your listening skills.

Before I went to grad school for mental health counseling, friends and family members would say to me, “you’re such a great listener, you should be a counselor!” (No that’s not why I went to grad school, it takes more than positive reinforcement for me to make rash life decisions…)

In graduate school, they taught me a…

Rachel Havekost

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