I don’t know where you are today, but if I read this the day you wrote it, I would’ve said: Don’t wait! Go straight to a detox today! They want you there drunk, and you’ll want to be there to be sober up. I did it twice. Being somewhere safe and medicated, to soften the pain of withdrawal, is a wonderful thing. It might not seem like it at the time, but I look back on it thinking it was the best respite from life that I’ve ever had. The first time didn’t take because I still came home to the same nightmare that I had left, but the 2nd time I was ready and my homelife had changed. I followed up detox with a 28 day program and though I thought I was ready for the rest of my life at that point, I was still telling myself that I was different, I didn’t have to do this forever — just for a little while. But I kept at it and did the 90 in 90, eventually found a group I could call home that I still attend to a few times a week, over 5 years later. Today I know happiness that I never knew before — it might not be full-blown happiness but I can say with certainty that I’m content. I know what I feel like. I feared living with myself, being alone with myself, and today those fears are gone. Adding 2 dogs to my life helped with that as well. The most obvious change I‘ve felt, besides making the shakes ago away, was my anxiety went away. Anxiety that was made a million times worse by my drinking. Poof — gone.
Sober is better… and it’s wonderful. The further I got away from that last drink, the more sick I realized I was and the healthier I felt.
One day in the future on an anniversary, you’ll read this post again. You’ll remember exactly how you felt this day. You’ll remember what you felt the day before, and the day after. It will help you to never want to feel this way again.
If you live in Florida, watch out for those shady rehabs.
Looking forward to hearing more about your journey!
