Look, I know most people turn to television as a way to unwind and relax. People want to be able to turn their brains off and mindlessly enjoy some half hour comedy show. I really get that, and we all need mental breaks, so I don’t blame anyone for that. But, in my opinion (obviously), there are multiple comedy shows where the harmful and/or toxic content outweighs any potential enjoyment, that I can’t understand why anyone would willingly sit through an episode. The Big Bang Theory is one of the first examples that comes to mind when I think of incredibly harmful and mainstream pop culture.
When I was a young girl, like 12 or 13, I stumbled on The Big Bang Theory one night. As someone so young, I didn’t notice anything wrong with the show and continued enjoying it for another three years or so (I know, I can’t believe past me either). Watching it led to my mom watching it with me, which led to my mom sharing it with her siblings. Now, almost every time there’s a family get together, I end up sitting through TBS marathons of this bullshit show because they all love it. I am so unbelievably exhausted by The Big Bang Theory and tired of listening to my family talk about how funny it is. This garbage is going to start its 12th season in the fall, hopefully being the end as a few entertainment news sites have suggested, but it still remains wildly popular for some unholy reason.
There are so many reasons why this show is terrible, that I don’t even know where to start. This show is supposedly for nerds, but it’s constantly mocking the four co-leads because of this. Mentions of their identity as fans of anything considered nerdy or geeky is almost always met with laughs. Leonard, Howard, Sheldon, and Raj are supposed to be friends, but they’re constantly bashing and making fun of each other. And it’s not even in a playful way! These “friends” actively try to hurt each other’s feelings in an attempt to prop themselves up and attain something closer to hegemonic masculinity. Almost every aspect of their friendship is based on competition, and trying to prove themselves more manly than the others. I mean, I don’t know about you, but I would never want to be part of their friend group, given the way they treat each other. And this is only on the surface level of The Big Bang Theory’s issues. There’s so much more ugliness if you start to dig deeper.
To start a bit personally, I’m a Jew who watches a truly obnoxious amount of film and TV. Over the past decade or so, as I’ve become more aware of anti-semitism and Jewish representation, I’ve realized that there aren’t all that many canon Jewish characters in media. There are even less Jewish characters who receive more than a quick mention of their Jewishness, and/or who are actually portrayed by Jewish actors. While I’d normally praise a piece of media that has a Jewish character portrayed by a Jewish actor, Howard’s horrid characterization keeps me from even viewing that positively. As far as I know (as someone who tries to avoid the show as much as possible), Howard and his mother are the only two canon Jewish characters (and while both Mayim Bialik and Melissa Rauch are Jewish, Amy is never explicitly mentioned to be Jewish and Bernadette is explicitly not Jewish). Howard is undeniably Jewish, as he talks about keeping kosher (or his lack thereof), needing to find a nice Jewish girl to please his mom, and frequently using Yiddish words or phrases. We never see Howard’s mother and she’s constantly the butt of the joke. All the audience knows about her is that she’s fat (which is constantly brought up for mocking), loud, overbearing, and loves to guilt-trip her son. For those who are unaware, Howard’s mom checks pretty much every box on the list for the stereotypical Jewish mother, but then again, these traits aren’t contained to Jewish stereotypes. Although I wouldn’t exactly argue that Howard’s characterization is stereotypical, I find it repulsive that he is the pervert of the group; and I can’t find the right words to describe it, but I feel like he’s written in a way that ties his disgusting misogyny to his Jewishness (especially since the writers constantly and explicitly bring up his Jewishness). Almost every scene of Howard’s in the earlier seasons show him harassing or being invasive towards women. I know that these behaviors have lessened since Howard and Bernadette’s marriage; but most of his scenes with Bernadette are still dripping with his misogyny, as he expects her to take care of him and tends to treat her subserviently.
Obviously, the misogyny doesn’t stop with Howard’s uncomfortable behavior, though. All four of the guys are obsessed with attaining hegemonic masculinity. The narrative basically tells the audience that women only exist for men’s sexual/romantic attention or to be ridiculed. While Raj struggles to talk to women sober because of anxiety, he tends to harass women when he’s drunk, and in one scene, he even publicly exposes himself on a blind date. Raj is also overprotective of his slightly younger sister and tries to forbid her from entering a relationship with Leonard. Leonard is the show’s Nice Guy™, as he’s a “sweetheart” that never actively participates in such harassment; but he rarely appears to have an issue with his friends’ behavior and never tries to stop them. Leonard also seemingly thinks he deserves Penny, refuses to accept her repeated rejections, and after they get serious, even the show makes a joke about how he eventually “wore her down”. Sheldon, while an asshole to everyone, clearly has a gendered bias. He belittles women and often downplays their opinions or achievements (such as when he insists Amy’s work is inferior to his), and even in one episode, repeatedly assumes women’s anger (no matter how rightfully it’s felt) is due to a woman menstruating.
Then we have the women themselves. Penny is conventionally attractive, fits multiple aspects of the “dumb blonde” stereotype, is a failed actress, and shallowly only dates attractive men with no substance — until Leonard, that is. She’s frequently shamed for being sexually active and the guys spend most of their time with her harassing her or belittling her. In the later seasons, Bernadette and Amy are introduced. While Bernadette and Amy are allowed to be brilliant in their respective scientific fields, I’m confident that the vast majority of The Big Bang Theory’s target audience would never refer to either of them as “hot” or “beautiful” as they would for Penny. While the audience does get to see a genuine friendship between these three women, the vast majority of the time Penny, Bernadette, and Amy spend together is often them talking about their boyfriends. Outside of incredibly brief interludes, the audience doesn’t really get to see more than this shallow look at their friendship, as they seemingly wouldn’t have anything to talk about if it wasn’t for their respective boyfriends.
Then there’s also the painfully blatant racism. For one, of the current nine main cast members, Kunal Nayyar is the only one who isn’t white. Raj is the “exotic” foreigner, who seems to hate most of his cultural background and desperately tries to avoid his parent’s multiple attempts at setting him up with Indian women. Raj is also by far the most feminized of the main four, often shown participating in “girly” behavior — such as reading Twilight, an occasional desire to talk about feelings, and his enjoyment of Grasshoppers (a drink that is explicitly labeled as “girly” by his friends) — in order to prop up the white masculinity of Howard, Sheldon, and Leonard. The vast majority of jokes making fun of Raj’s masculinity, also serve to mock gay men. Raj is the only member of the group who has never had a long term girlfriend and most of his success with women is played for a joke, which isn’t the case for his friends. The show purposefully desexualizes Raj, by portraying most of his sexual encounters as jokes, which is especially troubling as media frequently desexualizes Asian men. The show also uses lampshading for the tons of racist “jokes” (including a bunch of comments about India that rely on Western stereotypes) and often have Raj call it out as racist, followed by a laugh track; meaning the narrative thinks these valid concerns are a joke and perceive people of color (and anyone else who might find it offensive) as overly sensitive.
The show’s homophobia was probably the first aspect that started to exhaust me, (as, at the time I was oblivious to a decent amount of the racism) and I was annoyed by the constant jokes making fun of how close Howard and Raj are. The show regularly explicitly has other characters (usually men) question whether Raj is gay. Any activity that Howard and Raj perform together that could possibly be read as a couple’s activity is played for laughs. Whenever Raj wants to have a meaningful talk with Howard, it’s ridiculed in the show. According to the writers, any close friendship between two men must be secretly gay because feelings are feminine and straight men can’t be feminine. From the bits and pieces of newer seasons I’ve seen, there’s also all the jokes of how Amy is attracted to Penny, which is also somewhat portrayed as predatory, as Penny always rejects her advances and is frequently shown to be uncomfortable by it.
There’s also the never-ending ableism with Sheldon (and now Amy). Both Sheldon and Amy can clearly be read as autistic; as they both struggle with understanding sarcasm and often take everything literally. Sheldon’s dislike of physical contact and need to follow a precise schedule also exemplify why he could be read as autistic. Some of Sheldon’s habits can be read as OCD, such as his need to knock three times and his specific seat in the living room. Almost all of Sheldon’s habits or instances of him having difficulty understanding something is played as a joke, and his friends often threaten violence because they find these “quirks” so annoying.
Anyway, I hate Chuck Lorre and this misogynistic racist homotransphobic ableist dumpster fire of a show and I’m gonna throw a party when it’s finally over.
