Get Money, Get Paid: Rapid-fire Notes for Smashing the Patriarchy

This past Saturday I attended an all-day, absolutely brilliant series of workshops in Brooklyn at the Get Money Get Paid Conference along with 99 other women. Organized by Claire Wasserman, founder of Ladies Get Paid, the mission was simple, to “help women get the respect and the money they deserve.” Fuck. Yes.

These are all of the notes that I took across the amazing 12 hour intensive. If you just want the list of resources mentioned, skip on down to the bottom.

Get Paid — AKA, Salary Negotiation 101

This workshop was all about how to ask for a raise, and Ashley Louise, Head of Business Development and Operations at Ladies Get Paid, kicked it off with some key stats: For every $1 the average man makes, the average women makes $0.78, the average black woman makes $0.63, and the average hispanic woman makes $0.55. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

The Approach:

1. Stop being nervous.
Don’t think about annoying the other person, or being inconvenient, instead, get excited. Try thinking about what you’ll do with the $$. Also, don’t come into it upset either. Do some power poses and communicate with your body language that you are equally in control of the situation.

2. Don’t assume they will be fair.
This is business, and the person on the other side of the table wants to pay you as little as they can. And that’s not a problem because you have power too.

3. This is not a battle. 
It’s two people making a deal.

4. Practice the conversation with a friend!
The first time you say the raise you want should definitely not be in front of the person you are asking! Get comfortable with talking about yourself and how telling someone else what dollar amount you and your work is worth.

5. Excitement and anxiety are two difference responses to uncertainty. 
You can choose which one to have, and do your homework to cut the uncertainty out of the equation.

6. You can turn down their offer. 
I repeat: You Can Turn It Down. Multiple women in this workshop chimed in to say that in their salary negotiations, they made an ask, the company countered, they said “No”, and the company came back with a better offer.

7. Don’t ignore your emotions.
If you’re experiencing a lot of emotion, give yourself time to break it down. Ask yourself where they are coming from.

Figuring out the number:

  1. Information is power.
  2. Try to get intel. What kind of financial health is the company in?
  3. Find out what someone in your position typically makes? Use Glassdoor, Comparably,, Cindy Gallop Chat Bot
  4. Find out what the competition pays. Look at their job listings, or, go and get an actual offer from them.
  5. If they say no, ask them how they justify that decision. On what basis did they say no?And, ask them, what do I need to accomplish to prove value here?

Three Numbers You Should Know Ahead of Time:

  1. $Walk: This is the number you can’t go below and feel good about it.
  2. $Actual: Good, fair compensation.
  3. $Dream: “Highest number you can say without laughing”- Cindy Gallop

Drive it home:

  1. Tie your ask to their bottom line.
  2. Pump yourself up, ask yourself, “What am I a rockstar at?” “What do people tell me I’m good at?” and say those things out loud, preferably to a friend.
  3. Win your case in your opening argument. Come out swinging with what you want, why it’s fair, and how you’ve proved that you’re worth it.
  4. Try thinking about what you would say for a friend. If you’re struggling to toot your own horn, try thinking for a bit about what you might say for a friend if you were making their case. It will get you in the right frame of mind for how the tone you should take and the kinds of things you should say about your accomplishments.

Various ways to handle a question about your previous salary:

  1. Ignore it, and say “Based on the role, my experience, etc. I’m worth $xyz.”
  2. Be vague, “My previous employer was really great to me, I was very well compensated”.
  3. If they push, tell them it’s illegal, and irrelevant.
  4. Lie.

At the end of every meeting, write down what was discussed in a personal document with the date, you might want to reference what was offered, what was said when, at a later date.


What Would a White Man Do? Then do that.

Get Rich — AKA, now that you got the raise, be smart with your money.

  1. Use online savings accounts (Ally), for short-term savings goals.
  2. Nickname your savings accounts with the name of he goal! Examples: Trip to Mexico / Holiday Money / New Laptop / Vet Expenses. They should only be goals you plan to cash out on within 2 years.
  3. Also keep your emergency fund in an online savings account, you only need 3 months of your fixed expenses (unless you have higher risk, ie, planning to need 6 months to find a new job, you have kids, you have health issues, etc.)
  4. Fuck a budget, they don’t work. Just save what you have to save FIRST, and whatever is left however you want to.

Save what you have to, automatically, the rest is yours to blow:

If you have debt: 
10% Save for Future / 20% Pay-down Debt / 50% Fixed Costs (things you have to spend money on to earn a living, ie rent, food, travel) / 20% Flex

If you don’t have debt:
20% Save for Future / 50% Fixed Costs / 30% Flex

// Side note! I looked into whether it was smart for me to pay down my student loans first, or to invest the money, and the recommendation is to invest first. Basically, if the interest rate you’re losing on your student loans is less than the 7–9% (which it really should be, if it’s not refinance), then you shouldn’t try and pay it off faster, but pay the minimum, and invest that money in an ETF. They are very likely to earn more.

/// Side note for the side note!! I swear by Betterment for investing, so easy, so smart, great returns.

Get Promoted — AKA, Get inspired by 3 BADASS women who are on top of their game.

Notes taken from a group conversation between Anjali Sud, the new CEO of Vimeo, Erin Grau, the first VP of Transformation at the New York Times, & Nicole Sanchez, Investment Partner at X Factor Ventures:

  • 66% of women graduate from college, but only ~20% make it to middle management positions
  • Be purposeful when thinking about where you want to work, and who you want to align with.
  • When Anjali decided to leave Amazon, she very purposefully looked for a company that would value talent over age or experience. She looked at their track record for promoting young people.
  • The strategy, become indispensable to your boss, and your boss’s boss, when you get there, ask for what you want and be willing to walk away if you don’t get it.
  • To become indispensable, bring your boss solutions, not problems.
  • Don’t wait for them to recognize you.
  • Tell your boss “I want to be _________ in a year & __________ in 2 years”
  • There is nothing wrong with being impatient.
  • If they don’t want to promote you, communicate that they are missing an opportunity to leverage your abilities to do xyz. Make it in their best interest to promote you.
  • You don’t need permission
  • A Mentor: Someone a few years ahead of you
  • A Sponsor: Someone whose purpose is to open doors for you.
  • A Champion: Might be tangential to your field, but talks about you in a positive way to support you and prop you up.
  • You need all 3 ^^
  • Use data to make your case
  • Tell them, This is what I am uniquely good at.
  • Make it easy for them to say yes.
  • Cost/Impact Matrix
  • Align your argument to their company values
  • Bring rigor to everything that you do
  • You can’t just be a rockstar, an individual contributor who is bringing incredible talent to bare at work. You need to be a superstar, someone who instills that ability in others.
  • Your mentors don’t have to look like you, find alignment on other things.
  • What’s it like being a CEO? Lonely, you have to make decisions you know are right but also unpopular. You have to be okay with that, and have people that will keep you honest.
  • How do you build a network, Nicole went to multiple events a night and just started talking to people.
  • It’s not about whats in it for you
  • “Disruptive leader, impatient for change” but you can’t be seen as disruptive for the sake of it, you have to be strategically disruptive.


Tools to use: — Jobs and Company Reviews for Women.

Cindy Gallop Chat Bot — Super fun and super practical kick in the butt from Cindy Gallop, highly recommend.

Ally Bank — 2% interest rate online savings account

Qapital — Automated savings goals with lots of options.

Credible — recommended for refinancing Student Loans, offer as low as 4%

Betterment — Automate your investing

Debitize — auto-deducts what you spent on your credit card from your account and saves it to pay your credit balance at the end of the month.

Magnify Money — research money stuff

Things to Read:

Angel: How to Invest in Technology Startups — Timeless Advice from an Angel Investor Who Turned $100,000 into $100,000,000 by Jason Calacanis

I’m Judging You: The Do-Better Manual by Luvvie Ajayi

Work Rules!: Insights from Inside Google That Will Transform How You Live and Lead by Laszlo Bock

First 90 Days by Michael Watkins

Profit First by Mike Michalowicz

All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation by Rebecca Traister

Al Franken, Giant of the Senate,

Why Women Rule the Internet,

Things to Listen to:

Harvard Business Review Podcast

Fuck that: An Honest Meditation


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