A Long Way from Home

Rachel Bandy
Aug 31, 2018 · 4 min read

And just like that, your sophomore year of college is coming to an end. Before you know it, you’ll be packing up your things and moving to a place where no one knows your story and your whole life is in front of you. You have every right to be scared, but don’t be.

After this, you can chop your hair off. And get that tattoo you think about. And when someone hurts you, you can leave. You will walk down the street and no one will know your name. You will open the door to the first place you pay for yourself and then you’ll lock it behind you. You will buy new bras and undies, because you’re now a “real” adult. You will work somewhere to make ends meet, but have aspirations and a thirst for more. You’ll try new food, and although it’ll taste bad in your mouth, you’ll now know you don’t like lamb salad. You will kiss men at bars and dance with new friends. You’ll drink coffee at 8 am as you rush down the busy sidewalk, on your way to convince someone to take a chance and hire the fresh-faced young graduate. You’ll decide to apply to law school, but change your mind about going when you meet a stranger on the subway. You will walk to the museum and sit alone on a park bench. You’ll sing in the shower as you wash your hair to a song that hasn’t even been written yet. You’ll call your parents once a week to tell them everything’s great and the you’ll order Chinese takeout and cry to a romcom. You’ll buy colorful flowers and use a coffee cup as a vase. You will paint your walls a color you hate, and cover them with pictures from another life. Then you’ll meet your soulmate, who will change your life forever. And you’ll love with every nerve and fiber in your body and will never feel alone again.

You’ll get the job and have a morning routine. You will have pictures of Margo and Dylan on your desk. And your dog will bark at you to feed him when you get home from your 9 to 5. You’ll kiss your husband and your kids will say “Ew!” You’ll have a house with white cupboards, three bedrooms, and a giant tree with a swing in the backyard. Your parents will come for every birthday their grandkids have until they’re gone. And you’ll go to their funeral and wish for more time. Your kids will apply for college and your alma mater will make the list. And soon it’s just you and your husband so you take on the world together. You’ll quit the job, you were once so desperate to have. You’ll call your kids from Bali and you’ll skype until late in the night. You’ll eat unidentifiable food from a street vendor that makes you sick for three days. You’ll get older and now buy panties that have “extra firm control top.” And you’ll send pictures of your dog to your kids and they won’t respond for a few days. You and your husband will buy a new home with only one bedroom and he’ll take care of you when you’re sick.

Your kids will come visit, hold your hand, and tell you it’s alright. You’ll meet their husband and wife and soon their kids. You’ll bake your grandkids cookies and they’ll watch reruns of that really lame show you like, and you’ll finally feel like you have a big family. And you’ll sit on a rocking chair on your porch and you’ll wish you could be back at college. You’ll be wishing you hadn’t wanted to grow up so fast. That you hadn’t begged for the weekend to do what you wanted instead of just doing it on a Tuesday. That you hadn’t spent time thinking about a boy you would never be with, that you hadn’t spent days worrying about a bad grade and crying because you thought you wouldn’t get the job you’d eventually quit. That you had called your parents more and told your siblings you loved them. That you had taken it all in, every chance you got. That you accepted things openly when they came and waved goodbye and closed the door when they left. You’ll remember how it felt like everything was ending when it was only the beginning. You’ll have a lot to scared about but what is happening around you right now, isn’t it.

Rachel Bandy

Senior at Marquette University, studying Journalism and Political Science. Strong interest in writing, social media, fashion, and mac ’n’ cheese.

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