Being More Trustworthy: The Basics
In 2019 I’m tackling a simple but powerful challenge: Being more trustworthy.
The papers are full of sleep, exercise and diet resolutions. We often don’t think of trust in this way, but trust is also an important health issue. Trust is the glue of personal and professional relationships. When trust breaks down, it triggers all kinds of negative emotions — fear, anger, jealousy —followed by some pretty negative behaviours including defensiveness and blame. Personally, my response is to disengage.
‘How can I get people to trust me more?” or “How do I restore trust when it’s been broken?” are common questions people ask. The answer is actually the same; be more trustworthy.
The problem is that we often talk about trust in very vague terms. Ever had a boss or a partner say ‘I just don’t trust you?” Not helpful. What are we meant to do with that? How do we know what needs to change? We need a clear and positive trust language that enables us to have tough conversations and to identify specific behaviours that can lead to meaningful changes.
It’s incredibly useful to understand the four key ingredients we use to decide whether or not to give someone our trust. They are called the traits of trustworthiness — competence, reliability (how we do things) and integrity and empathy (why we do things).
