An Open Letter to my Future Daughter
Hello my love,
Mommy has been thinking about you for a long time. I love you and care about you so much. I am writing this letter to you with the hope that you read it over and over again. Read it when you are happy. Read it when you are sad. Read it just to read it.
#1: You are beautiful.
You are beautiful. You are beautiful just the way you are. Your body is feminine, yet strong and capable. Your hair is pretty, whether it is long or short, curly or straight, blond or brown. Every part of your body is perfect from the top of your head all the way down to your bent pinky toe. You will doubt yourself. You may be made fun of by ignorant boys in school. Every time this happens — the doubt, the thoughts, and the tasteless (yes, they do not have taste, yet) comments creep into your head — change them! You are beautiful always!
#2: Be kind always, but DO NOT expect everyone to be kind to you.
Be kind always, but don’t expect everyone to be kind to you. Why? You don’t know what battle someone else is going through. Know that sometimes when people are not treating you with kindness that it’s not you. It’s them. They are subconsciously projecting the qualities they dislike about themselves onto you. The true source of this negativity is ultimately always found in that person’s own insecurities. Do not let it bring you down! Pause. Take a breath before you react. Try to find some compassion and empathy for what this person has gone through. This will be hard, but keep trying. It will get easier.
#3: Follow your dreams, even if society disagrees.
You may not know what your dreams are. I am not going to tell you what they should be. But just in case you forget, I will remind you what your strengths are and what puts a smile on your face. You were born with inherent qualities and strengths. They manifested themselves from day one. Keep on pursuing what you love. Keep on learning about what you are good at. Keep on doing things that make you happy. It may not seem like it at the time, but these things will lead you in a direction, in a path. Keep going when you feel defeated. It is not easy to follow your dreams. Society will tell you to do what is safe. To pursue other career paths. To date certain people. I might even slip up and give you suggestions. Please remind me, say, “Mommy this is my dream. This is what I’m good at.” I will respond: “Of course, and I support every decision you make in your life. Even if do not agree with it. I will let you do you and you will find your way.” Don’t let society make your decisions. You are perfect in your individuality. If you get lost, always find your way back to who you are. I am here to help you get there.
#4: Nothing is permanent
There are many ups and downs in life. You will go through some really low lows. Some terrible struggles. I will hate to see you in this pain. Know that no matter what, I am here for you. You can tell me anything! Sometimes you will not want to share things with me. That is okay. Just remember, that this struggle will pass. The pain in your heart will heal with time. The struggle as bad as it may be, is a lesson, a tool. Learn from it. Use your struggles to guide you one step closer to your truth. There will also be many highs. Times of happiness. Birthdays, celebrations, graduations, first love, marriage, children. Cherish these times. These too will not last. You cannot plan for life. No matter how much you want to control. No matter how well you do in school. No matter how you dress or look. Life can change in a matter of seconds. Just try to live in the moment. Try to be here. Now.
#5: I love you
I love you unconditionally, deeply and truly. You are supported. Keep your head up. Keep going.