Never A Bridesmaid
Ester Bloom

My first bridesmaid stint is coming up in the next 16 months or so — they aren’t actually officially engaged yet, but that’s just a no-ring-on-her-finger-so-it-doesn’t-count-to-their-parents thing, they’ve already talked dates and such, and the bride has already appointed me as the bridesmaid whose job it will be to tell her to chill the fuck out. She’s one of my best friends and I feel quite well-qualified for this role.

Luckily, she is also sane and cost-conscious and will not want to do a destination bachelorette weekend or multiple showers or anything of the like. I will be able to look at her and tell her that I am not wearing a strapless dress, because that’s never a flattering look for me. It should be great. It helps that I think her dude is pretty awesome too. It’s going to be the first wedding that I’ve played any major role in ever, I’ve only ever been a family member guest before, so I’m actually kind of psyched? Like, excuse to party and celebrate my friend and wear pretty clothes, cool.

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