It doesn’t have to feel this way.
I know, because I used to feel that way every day.
I orchestrated my 4-day trip almost perfectly. One small work task for Friday morning. That was it. I have the greatest clients in the world. The one who would need my attention during my trip even got ready a day ahead so I could get things done early and get back to the beach at hand. But then…
Internet issues. Computer issues. Software issues. Unforeseen obstacles. Argh. Nothing will work. What am I going to do?
6am just became 8am.
To the hotel business center to try again. Damn, the room switch…I forgot I have to pack my stuff for the room switch. OMG- I hate how I packed my bag. I can’t find what I want. I’m going to run out of time. I just won’t go on the excursion today…great…lovely…I’ll just miss out because of damn work and bags and rooms. Because things didn’t go exactly as planned.
At 9am the computer issues were solved, the bags were packed and I was headed to the atrium to meet my daughter, soon-to-be son-in-law and the rest of our group for our day trip to the island.
I looked at my husband and said “I can’t believe I used to feel that way every day.”
“That way” is
- Left out
- Disappointed (in myself)
Feeling that way causes
- Loud voices, harsh words
- Time lost
- Hurt feelings
- Missed meals
- Missed opportunities
Your “that way” may be different, but if you know what I’m talking about then you know what it feels like.
And if you know, I have something to give you.
You don’t have to feel that way.
You have the power to change your situation. I know because I did it. I changed it. I sometimes think it was just in time, just inches before the edge of the cliff. My brakes finally locked and I stopped the ride.
Pardon the cliche, but the first step is to recognize that you don’t want to feel that way anymore.
The second step is to come clean with your tribe. You don’t need anyone to DO anything other than hear you. They’re your tribe. They love you. They need to know you don’t want to feel that way anymore.
The third step is to start two lists.
- List of things I don’t want in my life
- List of things I do want in my life
My “don’t” list included things like working on Saturday AND Sunday, feeling behind, moderating unnecessary conflicts, spending my work time with people who don’t share my values.
My “do” list included things like quiet time in the morning, clients with positive energy, helping people reach goals, giving my whole attention to each moment, cooking more.
Now you start to paint the picture. You start to imagine the life you want. The more thought and energy you put into that image the more clear the path will become.
You look at your lists. You figure out a single thing you can change to check something off of each list. Then you do it again. And again. You start to reshape your life. You start to feel differently. You figure out what good, really good, feels like.
When you can recognize the contrast between feeling “that way” and feeling good, you’re half way there.
Now you’ve got some motivation because you know how it feels to be happy or satisfied or relaxed or appreciated or energized instead of sucked dry.
You know you can feel that good. Then the changes, even the hard ones, are worth the effort and risk and, yes, even the pain and tears that may come.
And you keep your tribe in the mix every step of the way.
Bottom line is this. You don’t have to feel that way forever. Put he brakes on that now. Today. Make your lists. You have permission.
Decide how you want to feel. Then take the next step.
Sharing ideas and discoveries about living a happy life and maintaining work-life balance.