Someone Made It Up and Believed It
Friend: “I’m disgusted by and disappointed in the American public.”
Me: “It pains me to say, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently. How are you supposed to chase what it is you want if you don’t know where to start looking?”
Friend: “The American Dream is dead.”
Me: “There never was an American Dream. Someone made it up because it sounded good.”
Profit over happiness. It doesn’t work. I used to not believe that and I didn’t believe it for quite some time. You have to work hard for happiness. For (what seems to be) a rare few, happiness falls into their lap and they don’t have to go searching for it.
When you search for happiness it is tough work because it requires self-awareness. It’s seems easier to hate, turn a cheek and blame. The results are quicker and extremely devastating (psychologically), and the thing is, is that it doesn’t get anyone anywhere. It’s exhausting to live with hatred and I would know because I lived that way at one point (I let a lot of little things gets to me) though it wasn’t entirely obvious. I may have shaved five years off my life because of it. It’s just as exhausting as finding happiness because there are so many things we have to do to day-to-day in order to function in a way that allows a person to live that type of lifestyle. But when you’re searching for happiness, you begin asking questions. A lot of questions. They’re questions that the answers to which you’re looking for don’t necessarily just show up either and the likelihood of you being alone when it happens are nearly guaranteed.
I know profit over happiness doesn’t work because I grew up in a wealthy and well-to-do family. I come from a bloodline of entrepreneurs where a decision was made in the 50s and made my family a lot of money from an idea they turned into a multi-million dollar business that is still thriving today. I saw some of the checks but I never said anything. Money at one point was not an issue in my immediate family until it became an issue because of a decision that was made — my parents got divorced.
When you find self-awareness, happiness becomes easier to find. With happiness comes love and when you’re growing up and you’re really happy, it’s easier to be taught and give love to others, but here’s the part I think we don’t think about enough: “love” is defined in many ways for many people and I believe that more people would rather be entertained by the idea of love than actually give love because it’s hard. It requires trust and trust doesn’t come easy.
There’s a pattern here. Love is hard because it requires accepting other people as they are, and if you don’t know who you are, then how are you supposed to surround yourself by people that make you a better person?
When you write out your life rules (the lifestyle you want) and you live by those (I do six-month check-ins with myself), you start defining areas of your life that are essential to your well-being. If you don’t follow your own rules then you’re not going to get anywhere.
Profit begins with our thoughts and how we talk to ourselves. If you don’t believe you deserve happiness, then you’re right. Or, maybe I don’t know enough about the psychology of this yet. Regarding finances, I told myself for quite some time that I should get a job just to get a job because that’s what I was told to accept and I started to believe it. Boy was I wrong. Nearly dead wrong. I turned the ship around, more than likely in the nick of time when it happened and I didn’t even know it was happening, yet I don’t recall experiencing what I felt when it happened on a specific day, four years ago, ever. A part of me is thankful it happened the way it did, but it’s been the most uncomfortable change and it’s been — for the most part — very lonely.
Happiness, requires change and our own personal sacrifices and asking tough questions which makes us uncomfortable, and when we’re comfortable, we don’t want to change. It takes a lot of rewiring of the brain and it starts with you on a very personal level.
I don’t believe it starts with a group of individuals who’ve found a commonality because again, if you don’t know how to accept who you are, then why do you show up to the communities where you’ve chosen to take part in?
I’m still finding my footing, but again, profit over happiness? I don’t believe it anymore.
Whatever the America dream is that I was after, I don’t want it anymore.
Stand, but don’t stay in the middle,
Rachel
