Have a Happy Taylor Swift Valentine’s Day
An ode to hope.
For the past few years I have been invited to participate in an awesome Valentine’s Day comedy show called “The Rejection Show Valentine’s Day Heartbreak Haven”, hosted by Jon Friedman, founder of The Rejection Show which features writers and performers showcasing their best work that was resoundingly turned down. As Anti-Valentine’s Day events go it’s pretty hard to beat since the performers are usually hilarious (a sampling: Eliot Glazer, Brooke Van Poppelin, Kevin Allison, Livia Scott, Michelle Wolf, Stuckey & Murray, Josh Gondelman, Summer & Eve and more). If you don’t believe me, believe the New York Times and the New Yorker, snob. I sneak in there as a novelty variety act — novelty because I’m not officially any sort of comedian, and variety because I sing a little song to shake things up and/or make all the other acts feel relieved that they’re not me.
But just because it’s called “The Rejection Show” doesn’t mean it has to be depressing, and though I went that route in my first outing (singing a song I had written for an ex-boyfriend ten years before to try to convince him to stay with me — it didn’t), last year I felt more upbeat. Newly single just in time for Valetine’s Day, I felt it important to deliver a message of hope.
The vessel for that message? Taylor Swift, of course. Patron Saint of the lovelorn, icon of romantic optimism, and composer of a reliably singable meter, I couldn’t help but appreciate her plucky determination to love and be loved. So that’s what I wrote, and sang, about.
One year later, I’m single — but pregnant. Coincidence? Who knows. The point is, hope sometimes comes through in unexpected ways. In the meantime, while I procrastinate writing tonight’s song (oh yes, I’m back for more), I thought I’d swallow pride and put it out there just in case anyone needed a V-Day lift. Take it from me — a lot can change in a year.
“Tay Tay Tay”
To “Stay Stay Stay” by Taylor Swift
I’m pretty sure I should be much more jaded
I’m pretty sure you’re much too young for me
I should feel cynical and flat and faded
But still —
Tay
You’ve got me dreaming that there’s still some Cinder-
ella story yet to come my way
It’s not beseeming as I swipe through Tinder
For Cupids that are just — OK
And yet -
Tay Tay Tay
You’re there with your heart out
On your sleeve sleeve sleeve
Makes this perma-single girl
Believe, lieve, lieve
That I might find my Gyllenhaal some day.
(I may!)
I’ve also dated my fair share of losers
We’ve all had toxic drama in our lives
It always sucks when you find out they’re douchebag users
It sucks more when you find out they have wives!
Who cares, just put on
Tay Tay Tay
Crushes can be crushing
When it ends, ends, ends
But she can send you rushing out to
Bang with Friends
Or Hinge or Match or J-Date for some play.
(Or Grindr. Or Christian Mingle. Or Farmer’s Only. Whatever works!)
I know you perpetuate stereotypes
I’m not down with the princessy hype
But I’m up with you!
Your songs are just fun
I hope it’s not pathetic to say
That I listen to them on mega-replay
They still speak to me
I’m 41…
Tay,
I sort of cannot wait ‘til you get old
Still so many dramas to unfold, fold, fold
What future Harry Styles might life hold hold hold?
And if for you, than heck why not for…
Me me me!
So I haven’t found forever
I’m here now!
And pretty happy with “whatever”
I’ll meet men
And maybe I can meet one that’s not gay
(Pray pray pray pray!)
Tay Tay Tay
Keep up those songs that keep us humming
Lay it bare
‘Cause life’s about what we’re becoming
If we dare
So have a Happy Valentine’s —
From Tay.
p.s. “Bang With Friends” is now “Down” and I am now 42.
p.p.s. That’s the wonderful Andy Stuckey of Stuckey & Murray is on guitar. I will miss him tonight as I am singing against a karaoke track. Definitely not the same.
p.p.p.s. Here’s the original Tay Tay version (alas, no official video as I could find): “Stay Stay Stay”
p.p.p.p.s. Rachel Sklar is mostly a writer and entrepreneur but dabbles as a lyricist, performer and (very) amateur comedian. Happy Valentine’s Day!
