As an older and hopefully wiser adoptee let me congratulate that child's mother for rethinking her initial possible relinquishment of HER baby's custody in the nick of time, thus saving that boy from all of the traumas which could have been his-not for 30 days but for his lifetime. May he have a wonderful life with HIS MOTHER and the chance to know who he is and to whom he belongs May he have the joys of knowing his grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, father and siblings-and hear the stories of his ancestors. May he learn of HIS genetic history and the mtDNA & Y-DNA haplogroups that connect him to his parents who connect him to a long chain of maternal and paternal ancestors sharing his genome which he in tern will pass it on to his children who will pass it on to theirs. Females only have mtDNA which each mother passes to her children who pass it on to theirs. This is the circle of life-one no court or human can break or change.
May he have all those family relationships that I and all adoptees are cheated from having because your western societies allows our identities to be stolen, our names changed, our records hidden and denied us, and our original birth certificates to be kept under lock and key by Departments of Vital Statistics or Health Departments to be exchanged with what is known as an amended birth certificate where our given names and our parents names are obliterated and replaced with the names of adopters as parents and a name they changed which replaces the names we were given by our own mothers. This in 42 states of your not so precious united states -and its district and territories, in violation of Constitutional, federal, civil, international and birth rights to know who we are and from whence we came. The remaining 9 states at least now allow access to adoptees to review thier OBCs, and even to retrieve copies, some of which may still be redacted of the names for which we search… Only one state, Kansas, never denied original birth certificates to any of its children, be they adoptee or non-adoptee.
In New York there is a perfect description for people like you who have the great audacity to believe that you are some saviour, and worse, to arrogantly believe that you can usurp another's infant -and then share that baby out of you misguided sense of superiority and grandiosity. CHUTZPAH!
Babies are not chattel to be traded like a sack of grain; nor are they to become replacements for the children you are unable to have. Nor are the older children who were abandoned sent to fill in the holes of your life -or those of other's lives. None of us were sent to be your substitute children, nor were we born to the wrong sets of parents to be given to you and others like you to stoke your egos and your misguided ideas of instant gratification. No court in the world can change the natural facts of life, nor change us from our original genomes, nor strip us of our DNA relationships, or substitute your false bonding for our maternal-child bond which is forever severed when a child's custody is relinquished.
Love is a great gift, but it cannot replace the love of a mother for her child, or the child's need of its REAL mother. Your love will not make the trauma of separation and the other traumas of an adoptee's existence recede or disappear. Your love will not replace my two siblings from whom I was separated decades ago, nor will it erase my memories of watching my parents drive away with my brother and then fight with a burly adult who snatched my little sister from my arms. Before I was 3 years of age I was stripped of my identity, my culture, my languages, my religion, my brother and sister, and almost my sanity. It was my sister's 72nd birthday yesterday. She probably to this day does not know she is an adoptee not that she has an older sister, one who has searched for her for 7 decades.
And you dare babble on about poverty and economic depravity! Beware of believing myths, my dear-especially the one in which you paint yourself as lady bountiful. Real women with maternal instincts do not steal another's child, nor do they pretentiously believe that their intentions are noble and, worse, are in a child's best interests.
If you want to help a child in danger of being forever separated from his/her kith and kin, work towards changing the mindset of a society that pretends that they know better than mother nature -or worse, better than the Creator of us all-by no matter what name you ascribe. Set up ways to preserve families-including helping a mother find ways to keep her child. Children are like mates, they are not share-able! Nor are they swap-able! And we are always kith and kin to our genetic family-the family for which many of us spend our lives in search. You are not kith, nor kin, and are NOT our mothers! This is NOT Hollywood!
Informed consent is never possible when it comes to children and their birth circumstances which can lead, sadly, to separation from the life he/she should have been allowed to live. Adoptees are never included in the decision -making processes which too often place them in harms way- we were never informed nor did we consent to being adopted! We were conscripted!!!
By the way, the US is trillions of dollars in debt, a debt which increases annually. So what mythical land of great bounty do you know of that the rest of us don't?