In Matters of the Heart

You smiled when you saw me

And hugged me tight because you know I needed it

But I sensed something amiss

Though I couldn’t pinpoint what

As I sat across you, I longed for something genuine

Though, maybe, only I felt that way

A kiss, and then some more,

Your arms wrapped around mine

Holding me like I wanted to be held

And for that moment,

So high and swept away by those conflicting emotions

I forgot yesterday and tomorrow

When we stepped back to look at each other

I found it surreal

And yet so simple

Maybe I was closer to love than I could imagine

We walked and you talked

Sharing a story, and then some more

It felt normal, like a couple walking together

And yet, I sensed something amiss

Though I couldn’t pinpoint what

I wanted a direction

For a connection so rare

Yet you had a different path

Your career and life came first

The hard work you had put in

To reach where you are, and where you want to be

I understood this

All this and more

And yet, I wanted you to tell me we’ll figure it out

That we’ll find a middle ground

Instead of encouraging me to move to another continent

Because your life is there

I found it selfish, and it pained me

For I would never suggest you move here

I know that would make you unhappy

And to leave all that you’ve worked for would be unfair

You wanted to give us a ‘fair’ chance

But as far as I could see, there was nothing fair about it

You wanted to stay in touch and keep it open ended

But after experiencing what we did, after more than a year,

I knew that we were on different pages

What I wanted as reality

Was farfetched with someone who didn’t feel the same

And so I kept quiet

Letting it go as simply as possible

With all the grace I could muster

For the only thing that’s as important as love, if not more,

Is to be able to walk away gracefully

From what no longer adds value to your life