When Adult Children—Primarily Daughters—Serve as “Long-Term Care Insurance”
Nicole Dieker

Who-boy. This is a hot one. My father, who retired at 55 and has since used every dime of his money to please himself, is now sliding into dementia. At no point did it occur to him to offer help to any of his five daughters (college tuition? Christmas gifts for the grands? The occasional bail-out?) Recently, his 86-year-old girlfriend of some ten year’s standing has informed us that is is time to “make a plan” … Seems like caregiving is not on her to-do list. Also seems like some of the plan-making might have been undertaken during the good times when the two of them were divvying up their year between Mazatlan, Salt Spring Island, and New York… but who am I? (The eldest daughter, past sixty and still working— that’s who.) No sons and anyway, what good would they be? One can only suppose. No daughters, frankly, who like him all that much…But we’ll no-doubt do what needs doing. Yeah, and it will cost us.

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