Dear Son, don’t waste life “trying to find yourself”.

Hey son,

3 years ago, who would have thought that I would be married, let alone be your mommy. You bring me immense joy and teach me new things about myself every day. I know it is my job as a parent to make sure your life lessons are learnt well- but today I want to give you one of the most important lessons that stayed with me throughout. It’s probably too soon to tell you,- Dear son, don’t let life pass you by.

The millennial generation that you are born in is built on many aspects- but one of the most important founding bricks is to “find who you are”. The journey is more important than the destination as thousands of words on the internet would have you believe and anything short of a mammoth search through your soul, mind, body and environment is not enough. People literally spend their entire waking lives in this pursuit and in that time forgot to live for the greater joys in life such as ambition, strength, a great career, money and a family. Buzzfeed would have you think otherwise. Stop reading that rubbish.

I am not denying that this journey is riddled with plenty of useful education, but you must know- we all serve different purposes, have different versions of ourselves at different times, love different people, hate different people, have different tastes, have different likes/dislikes, have different priorities, embrace the difference. Don’t you think life would be terribly boring if we knew our so-called purpose right from the get go?

Let me give you my own example- for the first 8 years of my adult life, i defined myself by my job and absolutely NOTHING ELSE. My work friends meant more to me than my parents and I would work tirelessly 24/7/365 for a career that I thought I would dedicate my entire wellbeing to. After that phase took a serious toll on my behaviour, I spent the next 2 years cultivating the most awful, vindictive version of myself on the job front, and a clingy relationship seeker on the personal front. I still loved who I was then too. I thought my higher calling was to move to a completely new city, start fresh and be a travel writer. That Radhika died soon. And in 2014, emerged the married Radhika. The new phase had begun and the relationship took centre stage. I knew keeping your dad happy was very dear to me, but most importantly my self- esteem grew no bounds. I was a confident person and thought that my purpose was to keep this relationship alive and be a darling wife.

And then you came along. And of course, I changed. See what I am talking about?

We are so obsessed with the end game, that we do not see the beauty of life right in front of us. We are so afraid to believe in “forever”, that we choose to not enjoy the “now”. Life is never constant, you are never constant, change is never constant. Adapt, evolve and emerge. Don’t waste your life trying to find your “one” purpose- seize all your avatars and hold them close.

They are all you. And you my baby, are beyond awesome.

Love,

Mummy.