0:5:1 You are my world, and I am yours.

Dear Izabella

It has been quite a month that time seemed to have just flown by and although you’ve been in my life for five months, everyday I still get excited to wake up with you every morning. The morning is still the best part of our day. You are just such a happy baby when you wake up. I’ve never witnessed such pure joy until I had you.

When you smile, it is genuine happiness, happiness in its most purest form. I’ve never witnessed the sheer joy that your eyes express when you look at me. No one can make you smile the way I can and I’ve never had anyone show such joy to see me. Sometimes, when you’re really upset, all I have to do is walk into the room and it instantly puts a smile on your face.

You’ve even learned how to cry when people you are not familiar with hold you. And when others hold you, you always seem to scan the room for me. When we lock eyes, you keep that gaze with your big expectant brown eyes, like all you really need is to know I am here. You are my world, and I am yours. I love you so much, my darling daughter. And I know that you love me the most too. Because no one looks at me the way that you do. And you do not look at others the way you look at me.

When you’re older and you think I’m out to ruin your life, I’m going to remember this. And I hope this letter finds you so it reminds you that there was once a time that you thought I was your everything. Because I’m sure that there will come a time when you’ll think that I’m out to get you, and I assure you now it will never be the case but nevertheless you will feel this way. I hope that day never come but if it does, I’ll remember this. That once in your life, I was your everything. And I made you so happy just by smiling at you and it was great.

In the last month, we’ve seen you develop so rapidly. It’s good because not long after you turned four months your Great Grandmother Betty came to New Zealand to meet you for the first time. You are the eldest great grandchild and she gifted you with three carats of diamonds to celebrate your birth. Lucky you! And it’s really good that you’re learning to do all sorts of things and she’s here to see you do all these new awesome things.

You’ve learned to talk so much so quickly. She finds it quite entertaining. Well, we all do, really. It started with screeching really loudly, it drove your Daddy nuts! One day, after you’d been screeching for a couple of hours straight, your Daddy said, jokingly, that if you don’t stop he would put you in a box for a ‘For Sale’ sign outside our house. The sound is so ear-piercing it drove your Daddy mental. You learned how to screech in the highest possible pitch and you’d push it to see how loud you could do it. On Grandmama Betty’s 75th birthday, we took you out for dinner and you shrieked all through the night. Lucky it was a Monday and the restaurant wasn’t busy. But it was still embarrassing!

The screeching seemed to have passed now, and you’ve moved on to actually proper yakking. Bla bla bla da da da da ahyayaya are the sounds you make now. Lots of cooing and ahhhing. It is so freaking adorable! We’ve got a video of you doing it for a few solid minutes straight. One day, I’m sure you’ll find it super duper cute!

When you wake up in the morning, you don’t really cry so there was a time that we didn’t know what time you actually wake up. You kinda just lie there. When you wake, in general, you don’t really cry. Now, you talk to yourself until we notice that you are awake. Sometimes you’d do this when you wake up in the middle of the night, you’d talk to yourself until you fall back to sleep. You’re still sleeping through the night which is great. You’re such a good girl, you’ve always been. I hope it never changes!

This month you also met Kuya Mikko, my first cousin and pretty much the older brother I never had. He bought you your security blanket — Bunny the Lamby Lamma, we couldn’t decide what animal it is so we’ve ended up with that name. It was nice for you to meet a few family members from back home. Growing up, I thought my children would grow up around a huge family like I did but I guess visits like this will have to do since we’re so far away from my home land. One day, when you are old enough to understand, I will bring you there so you can see where I grew up.

One more month and you will be half a year old. How exciting! We can’t wait to try all sorts of milestone things, like feeding you solids, and get you to drink out of a sippy cup. One more month! How exciting!

Your Grandmama Betty just called me into her room, apparently you rolled over!

Anyway, I’ve got to cut this short, it’s your Lola Mama’s birthday today and I have to go prepare dinner. ’Til the next letter!

Yours for always,

Mama