Tinder Tips for Men in Conservative India: Swiping Right

Raghav Viswa
Sep 8, 2018 · 8 min read

First of all, let’s get this straight — Tinder doesn’t work in India, especially South India like it does in other parts of the world. While an average Adam in San Francisco may be able to rake in 10 matches or more a week, you could (and most probably will ) struggle to get as many matches in a month if you’re swiping right in India.

We get it. The life of a single man here is more challenging than anywhere else. For every really interesting profile of a girl in Tinder, there are 100’s of men. Most better looking than you, some with better bios than yours and all of them with better luck (at least that’s how it always appears).

Yet, there is a definitive way to be successful in Tinder. How you define success is entirely up to you. But what will follow in this article are some tried and tested methods of going about getting matches and conversations. I’ll teach you the tricks to rise above the clutter and make real connections. No bullshit, only personal experiences.

The Mindset:

Let’s address the biggest issue first. Do you have the right mindset for Tinder? Yes, Tinder may be largely perceived to facilitate hookups but you can never tell what the other person is on the app for. In South India where I’m from, there are three kinds of people using Tinder.

“ Conservative Women. Women who start out conservative. Men “

Respect the girl’s right to feel comfortable even if it is in a virtual setting. Be open to experiences. Do not ever try to force your agenda on the other person. If, all you really want is to hook up, bring it up earlier rather than later. She may not like that but at least she’ll respect it.

But don’t be a creep, be respectful and always remind yourself — she’s got way more options than you do. Put one step wrong, you’re finished, my friend.

The Swipe Right:

Essentially, there are two ways to go about this for guys. The first option is to be choosy. Look at the pictures, carefully read through the bio ( if she actually bothered to write one ), check for mutual friends on Facebook, location, mutual likes on Facebook and once you know she may be in with a chance, swipe right. Sounds like the right way to go about it? Wrong. Screw the process. Swipe right everyone that shows up on your feed.

Success in Tinder is about efficiency. The average match rate for men is well under 10% even in the rosy West. You live in India. You can not afford this obvious waste of time. Swipe right on everyone and filter down after the Match. Upon Match, feel free to unmatch if you don’t see the potential.

If you’re like me and do not want to swipe right (even accidentally) on people you work with, just keep tabs on the profile while you mechanically caress your thumb across the screen in a circular fashion.

“ Spend time on people, not the process “

The Filtering process:

Here are a few quick pointers on how you can hold on to the true sense of who you are and your preferences despite your excessive eagerness to meet / date / talk to someone you’ve just matched with.

  • No picture of her, instead is it Aishwarya Rai in a lehenga? , No messing about. Unmatch. Don’t be desperate. You didn’t match with Aishwarya Rai. Get over it.
  • No Bio? It’s okay. Don’t get greedy.
  • Instagram profile connected? Awesome. Check out her other pictures. Get a real sense of who she is. For what it’s worth, you just got to know her a whole lot more than a couple minutes ago.
  • Not sure she is attractive enough? Don’t jump the gun yet. Girls don’t necessarily upload the prettiest pictures of themselves on Tinder. And she could still have an amazing personality or be awesome fun. Less judgment, be more open. Some of the girls I went out with turned out to be much more attractive in real life and I’ve had some great experiences. Trust me on this one.

The First Line:

And finally, here we are — the conversation starter (or the conversation ender if you’re not lucky enough). This is by far the most important part of the Tinder journey. It doesn’t matter whether you have game or you are extremely good looking or you’re pretty average without any real chance, your first line could make or break the deal for you.

It is true that some girls don’t necessarily pay much heed to the first line, or at least that’s what they will claim. But if you’re going to “Hey” or “Hi Sexy”, you might as well uninstall the app. You don’t deserve the Match. And you most definitely have very little chance at any real success.

That said, let me get confusing. There is no right or wrong way to go about this. Different tones and styles suit different personalities. The only right thing to do is to experiment with these lines until you find your comfort zone.

Whilst you experiment, try to personalize this as much as possible. Draw references to her bio, a mutual like or even a minor detail in her pictures. If she doesn’t have a picture, read “The Filtering Process”.

Be funny. If you can’t be funny, be silly. Sometimes I even say something ridiculously cheesy to make myself look silly, some girls dig that playfulness. Some won’t. But keep at it.

Create your own style. There was a point when I ended my bio with “ If we match, I’ll start off with a knock-knock joke”. This really helped set the expectation. I pre-googled several cheesy/silly knock-knock jokes, improvised on them a little to personalize and boom! The replies kept coming, with very little effort.

Always. Always be as respectful as possible. No name calling. No wolf whistles. No “Hi Sexy”. “

Understand what kind of first lines lead to the most conversations for you and double down on that. Practice makes you perfect. There is no shortcut to success. If you truly want to ace the first line conundrum, don’t lose heart over the endless matches that never send you a single message. Instead, focus on the ones that do reply. Improvise always.

The Pictures:

Pictures speak a thousand words. And a thousand more. And another thousand. If you are genetically gifted, you can skip to the next section. Just don’t do naked selfies. This will keep your chances high.

If you are like me, the average Joe, less photogenic and more side fat than you like to show off, play it safe.

Irresistibly good-looking men will always have the better chance but you don’t have to take it lying down. Let’s try to manipulate the odds in our favor.

Reach out to the side of you that can be attractive to your potential partner.

Are you a traveler? Add some pictures from your road trip.
Are you a public speaker? Add a picture of you at an event.
Do you have a favorite sports team? Add a picture of you in your favorite team’s jersey.
Do you have a pet? Add a picture of you with your pet.
Does your neighbor have a pet? Add a picture of you with your neighbor’s pet.
Have you ever seen a cute puppy in real life? Take a picture with it and post it on your Tinder profile.

If there is something unique or interesting about you, show it off. But be subtle about it and be classy. Always be classy.

Never overdo any of it though. Don’t post 6 selfies. Don’t post 5 pictures with your pet or pictures of your Royal Enfield. They couldn’t care less.

DO’s

– The casual holiday picture
– The cuddly pet selfie
– Something that’ll make em’ laugh

DONT’s

– Naked pictures
– Group pics
– Super close up selfies with nose hair visibility
– Linkedin profile picture

These pictures, while extremely important in the matching process, will also help you drive conversations along. Keep that in mind and play this carefully.

The Bio:

Much like your first line, your Bio could make or break the deal for you. Unless you are devilishly attractive, you will need a bio. Sometimes, even if you are devilishly attractive, you will need a bio. Don’t be fooled into thinking otherwise.

These few words will shape her initial impression of you. It doesn’t just impact your match rate, it also greatly affects your ensuing conversation.

Do not make shit up. Do not post a sexist joke. Do not be desperate. Act cool. Fake it till you make it.

Keep it classy or keep it funny. Feel free to tell a quirky joke that resonates with your personality. Don’t copy something off Google that conveys nothing about you.

It will be tempting to be funny, but if it’s not your forte, go for simple. Go for substance.

Remember, as much as it is about anything else, it is about telling her who you are. As a thumb rule, when you copy something off Google, however funny, ask yourself if you can relate to it. If you even have to think about it, NO GO.

An original, less than amazing bio will get your more quality engagement than a copied, awesome bio.

Stay original. Be funny. Be classy.

Alright, now. You’ve set up your profile. Updated your pictures and bio. Swiped right on several profiles. And BOOM! You have a match. You play it cool, you are a funny man. She thinks so too. You have a reply!!!

Congratulations, my friend! You’ve made it past the extremely difficult screening phase. You’ve given yourself a half decent shot at a date. Now drive home the momentum and don’t fuck up. Good luck!

Raghav Viswa

Written by

Product Marketer, Freelance Blogger

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