Being An Expat Is Not An Excuse To Be An Asshole

Ragnar
Ragnar
Sep 4, 2018 · 3 min read

Over the past 5 years or so, I have spent around 1 year in my home country of Norway, 3 years in Thailand, and now a little over 2 years total in Japan.

I’ve met my fair share of expats, a lot of them falling into familiar tropes and stereotypes, but I’m not here to delve into the different ones.

I’m here to address a very specific phenomenon, where people who seem like they probably aren’t assholes back home, feel free to act like giant assholes when they are a temporarily borrowing someone else’s home.

Namely, asshole expats, somehow liberated by not being in their home country to act like the piece of shit they were always meant to be.

Symptoms of An Asshole Expat

  • Making 0 effort to learn the local language, and complaining about lack of English skills of local population.
  • Complaining about a bunch of problems but making no real effort to contribute to change, or even move to a place that doesn’t have those problems.
  • Excess drinking bordering on alcoholism well into 30s-40s-50s.
  • Seems outgoing and friendly but is really just an opportunist looking for something (whether a connection for a job opp, or someone who might help get them laid.)
  • Treating people as though there are no real repercussions long term. ( Casually breaks promises, rampant cheating, etc.)
  • Flashes of good friendship shown in between everything else mentioned above.

My theory after meeting a handful or two of these guys & gals, is that they somehow feel like they don’t need to be on their best behavior, because nobody will remember, and if they act like garbage, it won’t haunt them long term.

(Either proving that an alarmingly big amount of people are somewhere on the anti-social behavior scale, or that the threat of long term social repercussions is necessary for the production of normal people.)

But newsflash: just because there are no long term repercussions doesn’t mean that it’s okay to to be an asshole.

The reason I try to not be an asshole has little to with what people with think of me long term, and everything to do with integrity, my self-image and my psychological health.

And there are definitely long term negative repercussions for people who act that way.

Sure, you might not be labelled the “town asshole”, and universally be avoided and even turned down for job opportunities in your small home town.

But you are leaving a chance at real, lasting human relationships and connections that can change your life in the long term.

Professionally.

Intellectually.

Spiritually.

Romantically.

People you meet as an expat can have a positive impact on your life in all these areas if you actually let them.

In conclusion: don’t be an asshole, regardless of where you are.

Ragnar

Written by

Ragnar

Storyteller & Digital Marketer — Currently Based in Tokyo

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade