8 Fascinating Truths of Social Media Withdrawal
Don’t let social media hold you back.
My girlfriend and I ended our long-distance relationship over spring break, a little over a month ago. We ended on good terms, but I couldn’t shake the anxiety and identity crisis that came along with being single after 8 months of dating. It was a shock.
I immediately quit social media so that I wouldn’t see or be tempted to check her updates. I uninstalled Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat from my phone. I installed the Facebook News Feed Eradicator Chrome extension to remove Facebook timeline from the web app.
I began to reflect on myself. I felt as though I had been a negative and pessimistic personality over the past few months (basically since the inauguration of our current President). I simply wasn’t happy with myself. I had no direction in life. I didn’t know what I wanted to make my career. I was lost.
I downloaded two apps — Medium and Quora — to read through self-help posts and figure out how to get myself out of my rut. I came across an inspirational post by Benjamin Foley.
I enacted two of his recommendations — I quit the news and the rest of my social media — the two biggest inhibitors to my happiness. Twitter was gone. Reddit was gone. Even LinkedIn, which I rarely used, was deleted off my phone.
All that was left were my communication apps — Messenger, Slack, and WhatsApp.
Fast-forward to the present, and I have never felt so empowered or held such a positive outlook on my life since I entered college. My withdrawal from social media has changed my life immensely. Here’s what I’ve learned.
1. It’s awkward to explain
“Let me add you on Snapchat”
“Uh…actually, I deleted my Snapchat…”“Are you going to XYZ’s party?”
“XYZ’s having a party?!”
“Yeah, didn’t you get the Facebook invite?”
“Oh, I’m off Facebook for a bit.”
My withdrawal was easy to explain at first.
For the people I was close with, I simply told the truth: “Oh my girlfriend and I broke up, so I’m just taking some time off social media.”
For the people I wasn’t especially close with: “I found myself spending too much time on it and wanted a break to get my academic/professional life together.”
But it’s tougher now. I’ve recovered from the breakup for the most part, but I’ve also realized the extent to which social media was holding my back. I can’t just say “I believe social media is a waste of time,” even when it’s something I actually believe. I have to pull back and resort to the “spending too much time” response.
And it’s sad that it’s been awkward to explain to others. We have come to a point in society where everyone (especially a millennial college student) is assumed to have and be active on every form of social media.
2. You experience a (valid) fear of missing out
I missed the birthdays of several of my Facebook friends. I missed my friend’s engagement announcement. I wasn’t able to ‘friend’ the cute girl I hit it off with.
I missed out on the lives of people I only receive updates from via social media. I just didn’t know what people were doing, or the other events of which I was unaware. It sucked.
3. Actual conversations (and friendships) become so much better
But my friend who got engaged went out of his way to message me the news. He even invited me to his wedding.
Talking with people, face-to-face, has become more authentic and genuine than ever before. The fact that I have no idea what my friends have been doing leads me to go out of my way to find out. I’m more attentive, responsive, and engaged in conversations because I’m learning something new about their lives I didn’t know beforehand via social media.
I’ve learned to trust in my friendships. My friendship with someone is just as strong even if I don’t ❤️ them on Instagram or 😆 their punny joke on Facebook. I just have to be sure to catch up with them when I can.
4. Productivity skyrockets
I face far fewer distractions from social media and my phone than before. I’ve passed the point where I check my phone for updates every few minutes, and can truly focus for extended periods of time. I finish my assignments and projects with more quality, less effort, and in less time. Social media no longer encumbers me as a crutch to procrastinate.
It is a gateway push toward efficiency and happiness. If I finish my work quicker, I can move on with my life sooner, hang out with friends for longer, go to sleep (and wake up) earlier, spend more time at the gym, and so on.
5. You find new ways to “waste” time
So I deleted every social media app from my phone, and downloaded Medium and Quora. I recently found myself trying to distract myself from reality (studying for finals) by scrolling through the articles on the former or questions on the latter. I go to the bathroom with my phone in order to read, not check up on the non-existent Facebook updates I missed since getting up from my desk five feet away. I even find myself procrastinating work by cleaning the apartment, spending more time and energy cooking, and planning out my summer projects.
Essentially, I am wasting time on productive but (relatively) unimportant tasks. I have mitigated, but not solved my procrastination problems. I enjoy that my new “unproductive” habits are still far more productive than my former social media ones.
6. You gain perspective and awareness of yourself and surroundings
In that first week post-deletion, I would grab my phone and search through my applications for the “F” logo, the little white ghost, or Snoo. Mid-way through my frantic search, I would stop and realize that I’m trying to waste my time (again).
I enjoy the scenery and nature as I walk to class. The trees blowing in the wind. The cars driving along the road. The squirrel I almost stepped on on my way to the gym today. This adorable cat sleeping on a fence.
But I also noticed the extent to which we are dependent on social media. As I write this article in the library, four of the six students at my table are distracting themselves with Facebook. They’re procrastinating.
7. Your mental health will improve
Eventually (it was my second week), I stopped worrying about missing out. I started caring for myself a lot more, caring about how I was spending any given moment in time.
You stop comparing yourself to your friends who post the highlights of their lives on social media. You compare yourself to one person only — yourself from the previous day.
I began practicing gratitude. Rather than checking my phone as my first action every morning, I lay awake in bed and thank three entities:
(1) an object close to me that enables me to perform my best, like my headphones or my cup of tea,
(2) a person who inspires me to be a better person, like my sister or my roommate, and
(3) a body part that I am lucky to have, like my lungs or my hands.
Rather than checking my phone for notifications, displaying gratitude gives me the energy and motivation to start off the day positively.
You finally accept that people can do whatever they want. It doesn’t affect you, or what you do. Then, you become happy with yourself. You feel increasingly fulfilled that your time is spent productively and efficiently.
8. You develop a new sense of purpose
I stopped comparing myself to others. I stopped wishing I could be someone else — someone who could maintain their academics, mental health, physical health, a relationship, acknowledge and express their emotions verbally, recruit for an internship, and be what I perceived “successful”.
I acknowledged my limitations, but rather than dwell on my shortcomings, I looked for a bigger a greater meaning in my life than myself.
I’ve realized my passion is to help others be more productive for themselves, empathetic toward others, and happier for the rest of the world. My tool to do so is creation. Creation of articles, products, art, or anything that will inspire and enable people to do so.
To that extent, I’ve started planning my summer in detail — the projects I will work on, the online courses I will take, the books I will read, and my strategy to recruit for a full-time job in product management.
There is more to my life than there was just one month ago.
Outside of a few posts on Instagram and changing my profile and cover photos on Facebook, I have remained absent on social media.
Social media has its benefits, but withdrawing from it has changed my life monumentally. It has given me the ability and confidence to focus on myself, my mental health, my future, and my life purpose.
I strongly encourage everyone, especially college students, to take a break from social media. You never know what you may find, or who you may become.
Are you ready to Dig Deeper?
Join me on my self-improvement journey this summer! I will send exciting weekly updates straight to your inbox!
One last thing…
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Rahul Rangnekar is a junior studying Computer Science and Economics at UC Berkeley. He enjoys weightlifting, reading, and cooking. He is passionate about marketing and technology, and hopes to find a career in product management.
