An Open Letter…

I never intended on publishing this piece however I shared my thoughts with a few girlfriends recently and they encouraged me to share. I’ve decided to share only because I believe that this may help to facilitate a conversation that has already begun in many other places online and within the private conversations of women I know. I hope you will take my words as thought provoking not in any way accusatory or demeaning. I am a woman who loves people and believes in the process of growth and because of this I hope that my words only encourage growth in others.

My open (short) note:

I think what disappoints me the most is to witness the perpetuation of actions that continually dishonor and break down our black women from the men that I love and admire on many different levels. Specifically, for you, a black man who is educated and so elevated within the study of the black community, it boggles my mind that you can use a black woman as an object of consumption only, drain her energy and pull from her what you need, want or desire in a fleeting moment to fill some void. Doing this without the afterthought of how this may effect her well-being. A woman who is your backbone, a woman who continually strives to honor, respect and love you.

As we so obviously have witnessed over the last few days, months and years, our black men are not valued nor revered and so the fact that you would break the spirit or at the very least treat a woman who is willing to honor you like an object of consumption without pouring some sort of love or nurturing back into her is hurtful to witness. I want to see you evolve into a true man. A man who protects and honors the women within your inner circle and community at large. I don’t want to see your growth into manhood hindered by your own inabilities to treat women with the respect and reverence they deserve…

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