When ‘the summer of life’ is over
Not so long ago in a literary work I’ve read the phrase ‘the summer of life is over’ and thought how each one of us individually will interpret their own summer of life as the age of careless innocence and playful way to be, but as I thought about it more, I am not sure when my started and when it finished, if it finished already. I remember a different way to be than how I am being now, before the weight of the world’s reality forged me into a man, not regrettably.
Then I think more and I realize the every part of my life so far brought some issues and that memory of certain periods is built only by the moments and not some constant way to be. We like to, I like to, think of my childhood as a smooth experience, but this illusion fades as soon as I analyze it and I remember how hard the process of learning how to become was hard at times. Learning never stops. From a child I’ve became an adolescent whose new strength of body and voice didn’t match the strength of my mind and whose newly discovered instincts didn’t match the lack of maturity and complexity of my character, which caused my a lot of shame looking back at the past, a lot of frustration.
I look back at how I was and I look at that person with love and newly gained understanding, like a wise teacher would look at his pupil that successfully but not smoothly proceeds ever forward. Lessons we once learned were hard and one should not devalue their hardship that prepared us for the greater things. I have learned so far and I wonder what obstacles must I face next? I am aware that they exist and I look forward to them because I want to grow more and become more instead of being content with my present self that knows he only discovered how much there is to know and to be.
The future me will look at the present me as the figure of a young man in every sense, who didn’t know as much as the future me knows, but who went the right path of development of which he was always aware. It is a narrow path, because it is my path. Walking by the path of others is a broad path and it leads to failure which results in stagnation of self development and bitter disappointment in who we are as the people. If one stays on his own path however narrow, he is sure to discover true knowledge by learning from his life and examples set for him and handle the new understandings with the genuine precision and owning instead of repeating what others said before, often learning from their own paths as well. Only one who stays on his own path can ever be relevant and seem genuine to others and can even teach others, but only to find their own paths. For me, this is what being means and striving towards the ever greater life than this.
I remember plenty and I would become rather depressed in a way if I didn’t look at it with understanding that I am gaining now, but the tremendous depths of it haven’t yet been revealed to me. I realized that discovery of true love, be it from our family, friends or people we were blessed to have in our lives, leads to having more empathy which leads to understanding. That understanding of how people are furthermore leads to developing as a person and becoming more content with yourself and others, accepting things as they are but constantly improving upon them.