The doctor appears
He wears a grave expression
“Your Mum has cancer”

I drop to the floor
My body racked with shudders
as my world shuts down

I can’t deal with this
I’m too broken, too damaged
Picture her dead, gone

No! Don’t imagine.
Just don’t feel, lock it all up
I have to be strong

I am strong, I am,
This is not real, my Mums fine.
But I know she’s not.

I pretend she’s well,
she’s healthy, she can live on.
She will live for years.

That feels much better,
The pain in my chest subsides
slightly, I am fine.

My fingers still shake
but I wrap them into fists
to stop the movement.

I breathe through my nose,
I count the seconds, minutes.
Because this is it.

This is how it will
be, for the rest of my life
Counting the seconds.

Waiting for time to
pass, not thinking just acting
How can I think now?

I will feel like this
until I die, but for now
all I can do is

Tally the seconds
count the hours passing, and
wait for time to end.

By Peppermint

Time by Peppermint is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.