Life as seen through product design coloured lenses (rose coloured lenses, but make it UX)
🌹 I’ve been putting this off but since it’s Valentine’s, there was no better time to share some UX-y things which I’ve found helpful in the realm of dating.
Think of the Double Diamond model, not diamond rings
Along with post-its and The Design of Everyday Things, the Double Diamond model is part of the starter pack for design thinking. Here’s a summary: “The two diamonds represent a process of exploring an issue more widely or deeply (divergent thinking) and then taking focused action (convergent thinking)”.
To aid our quest for love, let’s concentrate on the first diamond — the discovery stage.
“Discover. The first diamond helps people understand, rather than simply assume, what the problem is. It involves speaking to and spending time with people who are affected by the issues.” Source
At work, being in the discovery stage means I’m talking to our customers and trying to uncover their true sentiments about a problem. I’m there to ask questions, learn, and observe with as unbiased a mind as possible. I should not be brainstorming solutions or opening up Figma just yet.
So on your next first date (your last first date? 😉) remember this: you’re there to learn more about this person and what they value in life, not perform a critical analysis on whether they’re life partner material.
I’ll admit that I can get starry-eyed quickly, which makes me prone to rushing past the discovery stage. When I catch myself jumping too far ahead, I try to think about the Double Diamond model which is far less romantic than diamond rings.
Good UX researchers and daters don’t ask leading questions
Asking questions is good — it signals curiosity and interest, but what kind of questions should you be asking? I’ve heard that there are certain topics you shouldn’t discuss on a first date, but I won’t comment on that. The only thing I ask is that you try to ask non-leading questions.
If you aren’t sure what a leading question is, I’ve got one for you: don’t you think Lost in Japan is the best, most flirty pop song of 2018?
^This is a leading and overall bad question because
- It sets you up — it leads you to say what I really want to hear
- I’m assuming that you’ve heard Lost in Japan and have an opinion on it
- I’m asking for a definite answer (yes/no) on a subjective and debatable topic (what is “best”? what is “flirty”?)
Leading questions feed confirmation bias (“favoring information that confirms your previously existing beliefs or biases”) and the false consensus effect (“the tendency to overestimate how much other people agree with us”), and these biases taint the truth. Most people are too polite to directly disagree with you or tell you that you/your design sucks, so it’s up to you to be mindful of how and what you ask.
Instead of yes/no questions, ask open-ended questions that can help a conversation flow (“What are your thoughts on xyz?” instead of “Do you like xyz?”). Rather than speculating about the future, ask questions that tie back to past experiences as this gives your date something solid to recall (“You mentioned that you miss travelling. Tell me about the last trip you went on.”)
💘 Happy Valentine’s day and remember that not having a romantic partner does not mean that there isn’t love in your life!
