I’ve seen up to Episode 2 of Season 2 of House of Cards. If you haven’t, you shouldn’t read this article. Because, you know; spoilers.

House of Cards is sexist. That’s right, I said it.

Why? Because the writers don’t know how to write female characters.

To be honest, I didn’t feel this way until after the second episode of the second season. I have yet to see beyond that so maybe in the third episode there will be a Deus Ex Vagina and the female characters will suddenly become realistic.

OK, here’s my rationale.

Zoe.

Zoe is the anti-Frank. Her role is to counterbalance Frank, but also to keep us — the audience — trying to figure out who the bad guy is. Is Frank really bad? Is Zoe bad? Are Zoe and Frank bad because of each other? Is there something deeper brewing below the surface? Who is gaming who?

Ultimately it doesn’t matter because Zoe only existed to make Frank interesting. She was his expositional device. Oh, and she supplied him with sex. Lots of freaky deekie sex. Because sex is a tool to convey power for a man and conversely control over a woman. When Zoe finally begins to crack the pattern of Frank’s behavior and is just about to become a character that can really influence Frank’s future…

Brains go splat.

But what’s worse is that Zoe’s new female friend, Janine, suddenly goes from being the strong willed risk-it-all-for-justice type to the pack-my-bags-and-flee-into-the-night type. It’s worth noting that the actress that plays Janine, Constance Zimmer, is very attractive, but her characterization in House of Cards is a bit, well, dumpy. She’s written with bad hair, no makeup and no sex appeal. She’s give a faux tough veneer, but ultimately, she’s a coward with no backbone. Because, you know, women.

But there is good news. Lucas, the boyfriend of Zoe can now come to the rescue! You see Zoe couldn’t possibly have figured out the end game of Frank’s shenanigans because, well, she’s a woman. The writers would have had to figure out how a girl with girl brains could figure out a conspiracy enacted by men with men brains.

So lickety split, just like that, Lucas comes in to fill the void. For two episodes, he researches and digs deep and fights the powers that be to try to find answers. Granted, I haven’t hit episode three yet, but it’s clear that the writers couldn’t figure out how to create an antagonistic female character to intelligently balance Frank.

Then there’s Claire. The wife. She’s portrayed as scheming and conniving just like Frank, but unlike Frank she can never get the job done. At least not without Frank. She has to buckle and relinquish her company. She has to fly to New York and have sex with another man to “find herself.” As opposed to Frank who has sex to illustrate power.

Then in Season 2 Episode 2, we find out that Claire had been raped by a military hero that Frank is now humiliated into granting an award to. What does this teach us?

Frank has become hardened by military school. He has learned values and courage by being the Whip of Congress. Claire on the other hand is cold and hardened because she was raped. For the women it all comes down to sex.

To me this is lazy writing.

This show seems to squander the wonderfully talented women at its disposal. They are nothing more than an opportunity to give the male characters permission to beat their chests.

I like the show, but I wish they would do better.

I’m wrapping up now and am off to watch episode 3.

Wish the gals luck.

P.S.

If you are going to argue that Kate Mara was written out because she’s playing Invisible Woman in the Fantastic Four reboot, I still think I have a valid point.

P.S. P.S.

If you’re going to argue that Christina Gallagher breaks the mold by running the district after Peter Russo’s death, I’ll remind you that all of that happened off screen. While she’s on screen she’s either the “yes, sir” lady or the “I’m going to cry now” lady.

P.S. P.S. P.S.

My female friend, whom shall be referred to as JA, thinks I’m being a little bitch. She’s totally sexist.