Rhymes No Reasons — 1

Ode to WzApp

Like drops of water, in Chinese torture

Come plopping posts on my WzApp

0.0000001 percent, is worth the sent

The rest is putrefying pap.

What gives the urge, some folks to purge

Their bowels on my screen?

With fake-cheer Good Mornings + pics of gators yawning

To Good Night, Sleep Tight and everything in a-tween.

Stop, my mate! Use your addled pate

Before ye hit ‘Forward’

Think: Is this useful? Is it truthful?

Or p’raps a steaming brownie turd?

You incessantly extol, the joys of alcohol

Which turns human into buffoon-braying ass

Your jokes are so tasteless, time you should waste-less

To you they are gems, to me — foul gas

Hell has a special place, for the 1-brain-celled race

Who reposts what was just posted above — you toilet bowl!

And a sizzling furnace, awaits the genius

Who makes you scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll.

Those who go ‘Oops!’, when they post in ‘wrong group’

Were dropped on the head as kids — that’s why they vex ya

One who personal chats, in a group — is odious cowpat

Why bother everyone, coz you suffer (or do you enjoy?) dyslexia?

Those videos inane, made for and by them with half-brain

To my life, add absolutely zero value

They just pile up the clutter, and cause me to mutter

Why isn’t this creature in the zoo?

I guess some need this app, to fill up that vast gap

Craving attention in lives that just ain’t buzzin’

Who think it’s their right — morn, noon AND night

To send emojis and thumbs-ups by the dozen.

OCD me has this thing, every time my phone pings

To see if ’tis a message that’s urgent

Or some belly-jiggling jokes, Alas! ’Tis a hoax

Something I can’t wash with ANY detergent.

So, quiet in groups I stay, once a while wish ‘Happy Birthday’

And hope for rare posts so enlightening

But pings from far ’n’ near, fall like smelly diarrhea

From sphincters that crucially need tightening.

Amidst all the vomit, flashes like Halley’s Comet

Arrive — something useful, inspiration, a cause to smile

To smart folk like thee, I say a heartfelt Thank Ye

For you make this app truly worthwhile

Time I’ll never get back, from reading posts that lack

Intelligence, relevance, or jollity

For ruining good people’s time, admit it — you’re slime

A world you’d spell with great difficulty

To those with XS flatus, pls be changing your status

To ‘Hey there! I’m abusing Whatsapp’

For joy it will linger, when you control your finger

And stop dripping tripe from your tap.

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