The cold truth!

By the time you finish reading this article, Facebook would have donated $7903.57 for all the likes and shares for all the benevolence we show to that terminally ill panda, 22 thoroughbred horses will be saved from slaughter, Narendra Modi ji’s office would have planned for exactly 1.17 additional foreign cities for him to visit, KFC would have globally served 7 pieces of fried rat, 4 queues for a free waffle / ice cream / hello kitty would have formed in Singapore, Samsung would have stolen 904.4 MB of user data and 45.6 g of lead commonly found in lipsticks would have been applied by unsuspecting women all over the world (which by the way is more than the lead that would have been served in all Maggi packets BEFORE the ban in India).

All this is of course, if you read this article at the global average speed of 89 words per minute for all internet users who have a minimum of 6 tabs open in their Internet Explorer browser. If you’re one of the 22% minority who happen to read this article on their mobile phones, or worse, the 7% who read it on Chrome on an Android phone your speed bumps up to 111 words per minute. Serious. I’m dead serious. There’s actually a video link that I’m not able to find — “You won’t believe what happened when this reader did not believe this article”.

At times it amazes me how difficult it would be for anyone to separate the fact from fiction. Tropical snakes ARE really found in Brisbane and at times they do wander into suburban homes. However they can only grow upto 470 Kilos, unlike the 1,700 Kilos that is cicrulating around. 1700 kilos is way to huge man! 470 much more realistic. Just use your brains.

So let me tell you the little secrets to de-chaffing all the rumors being spread around the internet.

  1. Trust Wikipidea! A Wikipidea study suggests that only 4.3% of all news circulating on Facebook is true, whereas that number is 5.1% for Twitter and only 3.2% for Quora, while 77% articles on Wikipidea are factually correct. Sounds right enough.
  2. All articles with at least 4 statistics — figures, numbers, percentages are true. Mostly.
  3. Any article starting with a Wh word, is never to be believed. Less than 3.5% of them are true. Same is true of all articles starting with You.
  4. Facebook can track the spread of rumors and trace back the origin. They have implemented an anti-rumor software in stealth mode and stop them from spreading on a mass scale where it is harmful enough to cause any serious damage — including but not limited to limiting the reach news about popularity ratings of bearded women, breakup stories of Virat and Anoushka (after failed world cups and lip surgeries) and the likes.
  5. Whatsapp unfortunately allows no user privacy screening and hence n control on spreading rumors. Facebook acquired Whatsapp for solely that reason, to conrol both the traceable and non traceable rumors. Long story cut short — never rely on Whatsapp, Facebook is always better!
  6. Lastly, Panda’s and kittens! Never mistrust an article written on them.

Of course, please share and like this across. You never know, Facebook might be saved from closing down on 15th September and you might also get $0.03 in your account!

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.