I’m going to try explain where I was 2 years ago and where I am now.
So 2 years I was a shy, awkward , lazy and selfish 14 year old.
I’m going to put my “before” self in a situation and tell you how it would go, I think this is the best way to explain it.
- It’s a lovely sunny day
- My classmate is having a party tonight, supposedly to be 30 people going.
- It’s a Saturday so I’ve got homework from Friday
- I’m currently texting a very nice girl in my year. I like her but I’m not really too sure if she likes me back.
I’m going to go through how my day would be if I was my 14 year old self.
Firstly, mornings are horrible (even now I despise them), I hate getting up early or just before noon. I’m not really looking forward to this party that my friend has planned for the last 2 months. I’m still, happy that he invited me. I’m quite a shy boy, I definitely notice myself how I never talk and can never really produce a conversation with anyone but my close friends.
I’m not going to do my homework, it’s a Saturday?! It’s my day to relax and do everything that isn’t school based. The party is at 7:30, I’ve been invited but never bothered or thought about going with other friends, so I’m arriving by myself. Last minute preparation turns into me being picked up by my friend and taken with him to the party. (Note that I haven’t asked him or asked him how he was getting to the party).
We arrive at the party, fortunately it’s my best friend who drove me to the party so I could just hang about him for a majority of the night. Not really looking forward to socialising. I really have no idea how to walk up to a girl… What am I supposed to say?… What do we talk about?… What if she just ignores or replies but doesn’t seem to give a flip about me and the conversation. Party ends, I’m left helping the drunk boys in my year (yes, they drank, I didn’t don’t worry) get themselves picked up by their parents or settled down. I never spoke to that girl I like (which means she didn’t approach me either).
If there is one thing that I would change from previous social occasions or anything that requires me to come out of my comfort zone, it would be to go up to the girl I liked and talk to her, not just wait until she came to me, because I knew this would never happen.
Now I am going to describe what would happen if I was doing the exact same this Saturday.
Firstly, mornings are still horrible but I have learned to accept them (“Yes mum, I know I still take forever to get out of bed but at least I realise that”). I am going to go for a run today, it’s to be a nice sunny day, it doesn’t really matter that it’s 10:30am. If the run takes me an hour or so to go out and then shower. I should be able to do a bit of Quora browsing/answering before lunch (1pm…ish). My friend Liam (may or may not be a real name) at school that he was going to the party on the weekend. Maybe I could ask if he wanted a lift to the party tonight or how he’s getting there and if I could go with him. If the party is at 7:30 and if it takes 30 minutes to get there, that means I have at least 4–5 hours of working and relaxing.
After getting some homework (which was given to me yesterday) done, I walk to Liam’s house and get driven to the party. I try make as much conversation as possible with his mum to make sure I make a good impression on myself, and also practice my social skills (because why not?!).
When Liam and I arrive at the party, I ask Liam if he would like a drink — which he does — and then we both go inside to find out what’s going on…
The night ends (I bet you can guess what happens). I spoke to the girl that I didn’t really have the guts to talk to BUT I still went for it because you never know, maybe she does like you and/or maybe she will want to talk to you, for you’ve shown yourself to be a confident and outgoing person which people love.
If you can relate to any of this, I would really like to hear about your stories or how you have improved over the last couple of years/months.
Just remember to make the most of the time you have. As someone once said, you’re never going to succeed if you always back out.