“Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing” which is an ancient DOS PC program, gets all the credit for my typing proficiency, that and being a crazy obsessive kid.
Your exhaustion induced swearing and joking needs a shot of adrenaline to the heart!
Maybe a “I Might Be Cranky Hotline”.
ring, ring, , , ring, ring, , , ring, ring, , ,
“Hello, this is the ‘I Might Be Cranky Hotline’, how may I help you?”
“WHAT THE FUCK TOOK YOU SO LONG TO PICK UP THE PHONE?”
“Mam, I can say that the probability of you being cranky is 87%.”
“CRANKY! YOU BAD IMITATION OF A GRASSHOPPER’S ENTRAILS!”
“Mam, you’ve reached a 96% probability.”
“AND WHO ARE YOU CALLING MAM, YOU DITSY LITTLE SLUT!”
“Mam, uh, Miss, Sir, Mr, Mrs, you’ve passed passed the unity threshold and are now in danger of creating a dangerous space/time vortex of crankiness. My recommendation is, more wine, sleep or 3 lbs of Gouda cheese, which ever comes first.”