7 Things That Last Longer Than Brock Turner’s Time in Jail
Caitlin Kunkel

Now I’m inspired to start using that as a phrase, just to hammer home the point.

“Yeah, I’d been working there for two and a half Brock Turners and my asshole boss up and fired me!”.

“Oh, that’s a tough one, you live so far up north I don’t think those watermelons will ripen. They need at least two Brock Turners of growth.”

“It says here that the minimal lease term is EIGHT Brock Turners! What, are you crazy?”

“I don’t know, my knee has been hurting for half of a Brock Turner, should I go see a Doctor?”

“Now kids, they buried that capsule 400 Brock Turners ago, this is going to be pretty special.”

“Four score and seven years ago- uh, pardon I’ve been given a note, oh, yes I see. Three hundred and forty eight Brock Turners ago, , ,”

“Your tires are really shot, I doubt that you’ll make it a full Brock Turner before you have a blowout.”

Oh god, this is wrong!

I’ll never forget reading the statement that the survivor or his assault wrote:

I could live to be 4,000 Brock Turner’s old and I’d never forget it.

The power of her voice will forever shadow the lethargy of the court.