100 Reasons I love America — Words
Each language is precious in its own way and brings with it garlands of lyrical words that lose some of their charm when translated to another language. I love the English language but have felt at times that it
— Sometimes fails to convey the essence of certain powerful phrases in my native tongue and
— Sometimes fails to evoke memories as sharp as phrases or songs in my native tongue
But to relate to the people that matter to you, neither of these aspects matter. Any language has all the words needed to convey the essential sentiments we wish to convey — love, admiration, appreciation, regret, unhappiness, hurt, support and people speaking any language are capable of conveying these sentiments if they chose to. My reasons #41-#50 to love America as an immigrant here is about these simple words and the people behind those words.
#41 Thank you.
What is unique about these words and living in America? Don’t people in India say thank you and mean it? Yes, they do but my list is based on what I have experienced in my 20 years in India and 15 years in America about the art of conveying appreciation! Perhaps my conclusions are tainted by the fact that I spent my childhood in India and so might not have gained the maturity to notice these nuances while growing up in India…who knows? All I know is that I do notice genuine appreciation now and it strikes me as strange that I cannot recall experiencing this in India and so it makes my biased list!
Americans do a couple of crucial things to convey appreciation:
— They set the stage to say thanks, not drop it carelessly on your lap in the middle of a conversation
— They make eye contact while saying thanks
— They don’t immediately feel awkward and then suffocate their appreciation with unrelated words
These simple techniques make the receiver stop and absorb the genuine appreciation and glow a little bit in the happiness before running along with life and that creates for a special moment.
#42 I’d prefer that
And along the same lines, Indians are not great about conveying negative feedback without crossing the line into being rude or just refusing to address the issue at all and not providing feedback. When I interned at a software company in India, my friend and I gave specific feedback about the work culture in that company and were promptly made to deliver a formal apology for giving feedback. I observe how Americans give feedback around me now. They don’t shy away from speaking their minds and expressing displeasure at something you might have done and most of the times, they figure out a way to do that without making you feel small.
#43 It’s your day off!
I have heard this story so many times about Indian work culture. An unexplainable inability to take time off comfortably at any point in the year! Variations of “Oh, my boss might not like that” or “I don’t think I can take a week off although I have not taken a single day off this year”. And I am talking about vacation from your regular PTO days! How is that possible?
In every company I have worked for in America, my managers have always said the same thing, “It’s your day/week off! Go do something fun!” Having fun is an ok concept in the American workplace. It does not mean you are shirking work.
#44 I am happy to
How do you ask for a favor or refuse a favor? I have learnt in America, it is by offering something in return (to be nice)! I am happy to do x but would prefer not to…what a great way to refuse!
#45 I care about
Expressing care and concern using words have never been my family’s strong points! Everyone in our family understands we would die for each other if Bollywood-type situations arose but we rarely use phrases like “I care about you and so…” Why? Why are we so squeamish about expressing concern? Maybe it’s one of those family quirks that only apply to a small subset (my family being that subset) but the one thing I appreciate and am learning from the people here is to just simply say, “I care about what you feel”.
#46 I miss you
See above. I can count the number of times my Indian friends/family have said that they missed me and unfortunately, I can count the number of times I have said I miss you to those folks also and yet I hear people comfortably use that phrase here and express something that matters. Something to also learn from America.
#47 I love you
Ah! The trickiest of all phrases as a desi! I will not share with you how many times we have exchanged these 3 words in my extended family. It is just plain-embarrassing! And I hear how effortlessly siblings tell each other, I love you, here. I made a promise to myself to teach my kids to say these 3 words to each other, to us, all the time and anytime (and to mean it).
#48 How do you feel?
If I told my dad he should ask his employees how they felt in his office, he would probably laugh at me. “Feelings” is not something men or women for that matter discuss openly in the workplace in India. Perhaps in whispers or over a 1–1 chat between friends but definitely not as a dialogue that other people can hear. It is also not a question my parents asked me often as I grew up. We just sort of implicitly understood that we all care about each other and left it at that. Why? People here don’t shy away from this question. They ask it when the question needs to be asked and are ok asking the question!
#49 I’ve got your back
Such a simple expression of support and one of my favorite American phrases!
#50 You are awesome
I did this phrase growing up. It was not because I was not awesome (at least at times!) but it was not something parents said to their kids or come to think of it, people generally said to each other in India! I can recall several instances where there would be an expression of admiration exchanged but then would follow a joke undoing the token of admiration/appreciation or a quick change of topic lest people became uncomfortable. Americans say this often (possibly too many times :p) but they say it and smile and it feels good to be the recipient of that claim!
We all are indeed awesome.
Want to read the remaining reasons I love America as an Indian immigrant?
