Ranch 101
What is this Sauce?
2020 is off to another fast start, and as in most years, people are vowing to get in-shape as one of their top priorities. But if you’re a Ranch lover, you can partly thank Ranch for it’s 17% DV of total fat per serving as a contributor to 2019’s poundage.
Luckily, Ranch is not a one-size-fits-all type of Dressing. There are many different styles and flavors from all different brands, ranging from Vegan Ranch, to Jalapeno Bacon Ranch.
This makes for a whole range of sauces for your favorite foods, from fat free options to coma inducing ones, you’ll never be without our sultan of seasonings.
And if it really doesn’t strike your fancy to keep healthy in 2020, you can always check out: Walden Farm’s Calorie Free Ranch.
But honestly, if you’re going to go that route, you’d be better off dousing your salad or wings in a cup of water.
Calorie free does not compute with me.
And no, I will not be sampling this one.
Chemical Composition of Ranch:
Unfortunately for Hidden Valley I am an equal opportunity taster, as I have to be, to run this blog. But this also gives me the opportunity to evaluate and compare ingredients, recipes and international brands of Ranch.
However, there’s really only one brand that takes the cake…
The OG — Hidden Valley.
And while I may not currently know of a sweeter taste than HVR in this life, I will forever be on the hunt.
I did not want to make this blog post about the ingredients of Ranch though, because that information is about as easy to find with a Google search, as a
The usual chemical composition of Ranch is one that is actually pretty damn intuitive:
Vegetable Oil, Water, Egg Yolk, Sugar, Salt, Buttermilk, & Natural Flavors (Milk, Soy) top the first 7 ingredients.
Nothing too shocking in there, aside from all the unhealthiness. I think we knew that.
But this leads me to a more important topic.
Why do so many brands fuck up this taste, thickness and just overall Ranchiness?
The Chicago Tribune did a taste test to a set of random individuals, and they pretty much found that all other brands were just wrong in their interpretations of Ranch.
Of course, everyone is entitled to their own opinions of taste, but if you are going to brand something as a version of “Ranch”, you should at least try to make a product you can sell.
But failure to make a good product is a topic for another time.
Mostly, I just want to reinforce that we should all just be proud of Hidden Valley for creating a unique enough flavor, that a whole industry could be formed around it.
And while there may not be a good alternative to HVR as we know it, you can all help me hunt down something that gives it a run for it’s money.
Soon, the Ranch-Finder should be up and running, so stay on the lookout. You can all help submit any locations & subjective ratings you might have.
I will leave you with this alternative recipe for Homemade Ranch that’s probably way too healthy:
Originally published at https://rancharoundtheworld.com/ranch-101/ on January 23, 2020.
