Same-sex relationship is just an illusion in Indonesia, really?


I am writing this to counter argue a friend of mine who says my type of relationship would not last long. I am not going to succumb to his claim and would try to deconstruct such stigma on the Same Sex (SS) relationship where it is always associated to cheating and sex-based relationship.

Personally witnessing how infidelity may happen at any stage and type of relationship worries me about the future of my relationship. Look, there is a trend of increasing number of straight couples get divorced due to affairs. This should serve as a counter fact that infidelity is indiscriminate of sexual orientation. However, it might not be the case for Indonesia where our community is often associated with cheating and endless sex exploratory journeys or over-indulgence of sex life.

This notion of propensity might root from the unacceptable nature of SS relationship itself, leading to hopeless future for our community. It could be true to some extent. Lets reflect on the SS relationship in countries where SS marriage is legal, the SS couples, under the state legal support, could build on their future together as a couple. For instance, the Netherlands, Ireland, and US where SS marriage has a place. In comparison to developing countries, worse off are those with predominantly Muslim citizens, SS relationship does not seem to be possible due to a wide range of rejections.

However, without necessarily having SS relationship being recognised or even marriage equality being legalised, there is quite a considerable number of SS couples who successfully maintain. long-term relationships. This should signify that legalisation of SS marriage is not the only solution to bind or foster a long-lasting or a lifetime relationship, although, indeed, being socially and legally entitled to marriage would strengthen the sense of security and belonging. This means that commitment plays an eminent role in a relationship if it is to be a long-term one.

Social construct and rejection may also have significant influence on the nature of SS relationship. To some degree, SS couples are very concern and sometimes threatened by their social environment and this could transform into pressure on them and their relationships. In daily life for example, SS couples feel insecure to show public affection unless in their private space. In this circumstance, I dont see why cheating should be an excuse or a solution because it will end up in the same social cycle anyways. To simplify, cheating is simply a choice and the cheaters do not represent their community AT ALL. This is one of otherwise the dumbest world issue where many people tend to generalise things.

These two facts inform us that the propensity of cheating is prevalent not only among SS couples but also among hetero ones. Also, being in an SS relationship should not be associated with cheating and over-indulgence of sex life. To end my statement, I have to emphasise that infidelity, wildness and cheating are not the nature of gay ppl, it is individual choices and to some extent can be individual trait.