Going off antidepressants killed my sex life.
I have an active sex life if active sex life is having sex with the same woman once or twice a week for the past 15 years. And now, after 15 years, I can’t last more than 2 or 3 minutes.
I can’t take my wife, push her legs back and take a lovely Sunday drive. I’m broken.
My condition is new. For the past 5 years, I’ve been an antidepressants starting with Lexipro and later, a daily 20 mg dose of Prozac. I don’t know if that’s a lot.
Our sex life blossomed over the last 5 years for several factors outside of the meds. We tried new things, added more toys, books and locations and all of that resulted in wild experiences. This isn’t Penthouse Forum stuff, but romps that would result in great stories for my buddies.
I needed the Lexipro and Prozac. They were totally worth it though I watched the world slowly change in different ways. I would space out occasionally. I lost motivation and drive. But a fun side effect developed: my pain tolerance increased to the point we added light BDSM to the bedroom simply because I couldn’t feel biting and pinching. Likewise, my little guy down there became more functional as sensitivity decreased.
Let me be clearer: The meds numbed me physically and mentally to the point I could go nearly indefinitely in bed. I loved it.
I started taking these meds during a rough patch in my life. I needed them. They gave me the breathing room to cope with difficult situations while learning to work through major issues. These medications work but they’re not designed to be taken forever.
About a year ago, I thought I was ready to get off them and slowly started backing down the dosage. It’s hard. There’s a nasty detox period I’m glad I started this process when I did. We had to put down our dog of 13 years when I was nearly off and I’m glad I was able to properly greave for him with a clear mind. But things hit a few months later and my reaction to them proved I wasn’t ready to be off just yet. It wasn’t until the beginning of the summer in 2017 I started decreasing the dosage again. Now, eight weeks clean, I’m happy to report I’m off Prozac for good.
The world is different. Colors are brighter and I can think straight and focus. I get things done at work in the fraction of the time. I have motivation and drive and foresight again. Most of all, I can experience the highs and lows of life.
Another thing is different now, too: My physical sensitivity returned to normal. I can feel pain now. Please don’t bite my nipples. And blowjobs only last a few minutes before I need a breather.
Yet I’m overwhelmed with anxiety about this one issue. I can’t satisfy my wife.
She knows I’ve changed and can’t last anymore. We’ve switched things up and went back to the basic positions in an attempt to extend sex by a few more minutes. Nothing has worked.
We went as far as to buy a cock sleeve, which is about the thickness of 10 condoms. There might as well be a bath mat wrapped around my dick. I still finish early.
Just a few months ago, we would have intense sessions together that lasted over an hour. She would finish several times, I would finish several times. We were clicking and now I can’t even get her to click once.
My wife is amazing and I’ve talked openly with her about this. She knows my frustrations though I’m not sure she understands that the underlying issue involves feeling inadequate by being unable to please her.
When we have sex, my primary mission is to get her off. I want her to finish in the most fulfilling way possible. I suspect that’s her goal, too, and now, nearly overnight, her goal got measurably easier to hit. But I don’t want to finish without her, which is the crux of the anxiety.
The solution is easy: More sex. I write that with a smile on my face. We need to learn how to have sex again. It’s different now. I’m different and she needs to adjust accordingly and I need to adjust accordingly as well.
She’s not going to leave me to find some guy who can get her off in a dramatic fashion. She’ll help me through this. I’m lucky to have her. I just want to make her happy.