It has been no secret that I have been on the hunt to find love. I’ve been a perpetual online dater for nearly ten years. That sounds, actually, quite fucking sad. I’ve spent hundreds of dollars subscribing to numerous online dating services, opening more opportunities to meet like-minded individuals outside of my existing circles… and still no dice. Now, I’m swiping left and right to find the love of my night… and even that’s not going well. I guess for some men “free vagina” is not enough of an incentive to get off their couch and travel less than a mile to meet me for a midnight romp.

Au contraire, I’ve met many great men from dating sites. In fact, I’ve had two long-term relationships through online dating. OK never mind, that’s a complete lie. Now that I reflect on both experiences they were actually quite terrible. The first was a super handsome, educated Harvard doctor who turned out to have his own masturbation webcam show. The other was a successful jet-setting hedge fund manager who constantly flip-flopped on our relationship status. And unfortunately for me, I learned all of this only after several months of dating. Ultimately, I realized whether someone’s profile was chocked-full of random-ass information or just filled with pictures, there is no way you can accurately gauge chemistry between two individuals until they connect in real life.

I’ve come to learn that many of the men I previously dated are now happily married, with kids and even a family pet! So maybe the common denominator is me. I’m the freak in all of this, and my deep desperate desire to find love has wielded a success rate of zero because I’m the problem.

So maybe there’s some truth to that? Marriage therapists say that no one is ever really one hundred percent ready to be in a relationship. Rather, long-lasting partnerships are a result of understanding oneself first, enabling us to develop better relationship expectations, be it a hookup, a series of dates, a sugar arrangement, a long-term relationship, or marriage.

To achieve a higher rate of successful romantic outcomes from online dating, two major things need to happen: identify dating goals or relationship expectations and facilitate an offline connection with matches as quickly as possible. As I mentioned before, we do others and ourselves a disservice if we don’t understand what we want in dating and in love. For most of us, we don’t know what we want in a relationship until we’ve met our match in person, which is why it’s important to meet as soon as you can. Come on folks, there’s a reason why Catfish is one of the biggest shows on TV. And I’ll be honest, I’ve been much more appreciative of men who were very upfront with their intentions. Short-term hookups are fine, but everyone needs to agree that that is the plan.

By the end of this year, the online dating industry will have generated $2B in revenue, with IAC-owned dating services (Match, OKCupid, etc.) leading the pack at a whopping 27% market share. Explosive growth of the online dating industry has paved the way for mobile dating services, enabling people to make matches anywhere, anytime with just a few swipes from any smartphone. Since 2011, dating apps have experienced an average of 14.3% growth per year. This trend has given birth to many location-based dating startups, such as Zoosk, Where Are You?, Tinder (IAC), HowAboutWe, Skout, Hinge and more.

There are approximately 41.25MM singles in the US who have tried online dating this past year, and reportedly 80% of them failed to enter long-term relationships. And a whopping 10% of online daters leave their service within the first three months. Even with the plethora of online and mobile dating services, relationship seekers continue to be unlucky in love. This leaves an immense opportunity for contending new dating apps to enter the market and present alternative matchmaking channels for online daters.

The underlying problem with all dating sites and apps is that two-dimensional displays of information fail to capture experiential aspects of three-dimensional people. Essentially, no amount of information or selection of photos can capture the chemistry between two people in real life. My company aims to close the gap between the rate of successful in-app matchmaking and real-life encounters by providing matches with location-based incentives to take their first step towards meeting in-person. My approach would leverage user personalization and customization data to help users achieve more successful romantic outcomes. Think of it as a Match.com meets Salesforce with a Sailthru approach. I truly believe that my startup presents a unique solution to solving the core problems online relationship seekers face today. Right now, I’ve completed an initial business plan outline and MVP strategy, complete with product mockups and marketing plan. I have a few mentors (serial entrepreneurs, former/current tech execs, angel investors) and friends with extensive online dating industry experience lined up to join the advisory board. Upon completion of a prototype and initial beta test round, we have the potential to generate revenue Day 1.

I am looking for a brilliant, adventurous and romantically hopeful technical co-founder who has deep experience in mobile, consumer or SaaS technology, and is capable of identifying key priorities to develop, build and manage all of the startup’s technical operations and product development. Ideally, he or she would also have experience in, and understand the nuances of navigating the murky waters of online dating. Ultimately, my ideal technical cofounder is a true entrepreneur at heart and would be excited about helping me build a company that helps people fulfill their most basic human need of companionship.

As for myself, in the past several years I have been a serial first-marketer for venture-backed technology companies. I was fortunate enough to have managed marketing at three startups with successful exits, two of which focused on consumer mobile and social media applications. My core areas of interest have been in big data, advertising technology, marketing automation, and mobile—my main love! In addition to working with technology companies, I have lead marketing strategy for global media, entertainment and CPG brands, developing multi-layer traditional and digital marketing programs focused on the North American, EMEA and Asia-Pacific markets.

On a personal level, I am told I am an open, honest and straight-forward person. I’m very outspoken, and am not afraid to voice my opinions; respectfully, of course. I enjoy working with extremely smart people, as that helps me learn, grow and motivates me to become better at what I do. My biggest professional pet-peeves are: poor time management, inefficiency, over-complicating solutions.
I’d like to think I’m the collaborative type, and open to criticism, even when it’s painful. I’m not a technical person, so our teamwork would stem from an immense amount of trust. Though I am not an engineer, I’ve chosen to learn infrastructure management, basic programming, and product management, at a minimal level. I am a brat and can be delusional in asking for things that may not be technically possible. So it would be helpful if my cofounder could give me a reality check.

Experts say, “Do something you are passionate for.” My passion is finding a husband, not just for myself but for the many other millions of hopefuls who love love, love being in love, believe in love, or at least love the chase to finding perfect love. If ten years of failing in romance has taught me anything, it’s that finding someone who can love you in return requires you to know and love yourself first. I’m so ready to do this. Are you with me?

Watch out IAC, I’m coming after your market share.

Data sources:

“Online Dating Statistics” (2014). Statistic Brain. Verification: Reuters, Herald News, PC World, Washington Post.

“Dating Services in the US: Market Research Report” (2014). IBISWorld Market Research Report.

Axler, B. (2012). “Snap Interactive: Facebook’s Fast Growing and Most Undervalued Social Media Company”. Seeking Alpha.

Dewan, S. (2014). “Who Wants Free Love Anyway?”. New York Times.

Finkel, Eli J., Eastwick, P.W., Karney, B.W., Reis, H.T. & Sprecher, S. (2012). “Online Dating: A Critical Analysis From the Perspective of Psychology Science” American Psychological Science Journal.

Scharf, S. (2013). “The Market Failure of First Dates”. Priceonomics.

Smith, A. & Duggan, M. (2013). “Online Dating & Relationships”. Pew Internet.