“Do you find that things you once enjoyed, no longer interest you?”
Sleepless
Even before the quarantine had started, I was having a hard time to sleep. I could not sleep unless my mind stopped thinking, even if my body was really tired. When quarantine began and I started working from home, things got worse. I usually slept around 2–3 a.m before. Then, I began sleeping only after dawn around 6–7 a.m since at the end of March.
Although this looked like a bad idea for my work, luckily I managed to finish the necessary documents before I went to sleep. Even though my body did not feel like it was in pain, I grew restless and felt like I did something wrong. Even tiring myself by exercising did not work at that time. It was obvious that it had nothing to do with my physical state. I needed better mental care.
Whenever I have trouble with my mental state, music becomes one of the medicines. It feels cathartic in a way, especially if I can relate to the lyrics. So, I started looking for music that would be good for my sleepless self. That is when I decided to listen to Epik High latest Extended Play (EP) release, Sleeples in _____.
Relatable Lyrics for Quarantine
Sleepless in _____ was released on March 11, 2019, a year before the quarantine began. Probaby it was meant to be for people struggling to sleep due to the society pressure or the absurdity of life. But for me, it was a combination of all those things and quarantine just made it worse.
1. Sleepless
Sleepless is the opening song of the album. It plays just for 01:04 minutes and sets the tone of the EP. With a voice like Alexa, the virtual assistant Artificial Intelligent (AI) technology, asking us some questions. The lyrics hits too close to home and I just want to say yes to each question. Right in the feels.
“Do you have trouble sleeping?
Do you have nightmares?
Are you heartbroken?
Do you feel down?
Depressed, hopeless
Do you miss someone?Do you find that things you once enjoyed
No longer interest you?
Are you lonely?
Are you always sleepless.”(**)
2. In Seoul (feat. Sunwoo Jung-a)
“Envy and jealousy, mistakes unacknowledged
Only blaming others and taking sides
I’m only used to seeing backstabbers
Every window shows me another negative story”(**)
This song tells their experience with demanding Seoul city. I really like those lyrics because it is also applicable of what I feel about Jakarta. I guess capital city always has this power to turn us into a beast mode to survive. A lonely beast who struggles to lick the wounds at night from countless survival effort during the day.
3. Lovedrunk (feat. Crush) (술이 달다[lit. “Sweet Alcohol”])
“Parting is so bitter
that this alcohol feels sweet.”(*)
It is said that alcohol actually tastes like water with a burning, unpleasant, mildly bitter flavor. The lyrics conveys how painful it is to deal with separation to a point where you can not even taste the bitter flavor of alcohol anymore. Quarantine makes it impossible for me to meet my friends. Although it is (hopefully) a temporary situation, it still hurts.
4. Eternal Sunshine (새벽에 [lit. “At Dawn”])
“Don’t be anxious about being left behind
Good things come in due time.”(**)
Eternal Sunshine lyrics tells how Epik High has trouble sleeping due to the competitive life, thanks to our society, that never leaves a chance for us to breathe. The song serves as a comfort to those struggling, so they can patiently wait for the good things that would happen in due time.
5. No Different (feat. Yuna)
“Baby you and me ain’t no different
We are one and the same
the two of us
We suffer the same condition
Love”(**)
Although there is a possibility that No Different is actually a song about two people loving each other. However, I kind of think that the lyrics could be interpreted as a way to remind us that Covid-19 puts us in this situation. We are all in quarantine and we suffer together to process all of this. Everyone is having a hard time to adjust.
6. Rain Again Tomorrow (비가 온대 내일도)
“I only fall asleep towards dawn
Because I only become free once my eyes are closed.”(**)
This lyrics exactly expresses what I felt everyday before I finally decided to do something in my life during this quarantine. Some days, I could even only sleep after the dawn. Until my body felt so tired and my mind finally let myself sleep. Rain Again Tomorrow tells how oftentimes people tell us that things will get better, but we know that the condition will stay the same. Epik High uses the rain as a metaphor to express the bad days.
7. Lullaby for a Cat
“Whoever said no pain
no gain
don’t know pain.
Intimately like I do.
As infinitely as I do.
Been lied about and lied to
too many times to fight it.
Some bridges were built to burn.
No need to help ignite it.
A party of one or party of none
please keep me disinvited.
Tuck you in
as I tuck another tear behind my eyelids.
Good night.” (**)
This particular song hits me right in the feels. This song is sung by Tablo. The music is very slow, like a lullaby, and it is as if he is whispering to the listener. It reminds me of Tablo’s difficult past where he had to deal with haters who spread a false rumor that almost ended his career.
I especially like the expression of “as I tuck another tear behind my eyelids”. It feels so deep. This song is supposed to tuck the tear behind the eyelids, but it actually makes me cry even more. This song does make me feel like a cat getting a lullaby. Perhaps it is because of the slow music or it is just because of I am tired of crying whenever I listen to this song that I finally can sleep.
Sleep Some More
These days, I have been keeping a good sleeping schedule. Either it is because I just got out of a situation that made me feel restless or I finally get used to this whole situation so it does not really bother me anymore. I even named one of my playlist Lullaby for a Cat, because it has become my favourite song in the album.
Either way, I am glad I found this beautiful music to survive my quarantine. It has been accompanying me in a journey of adjusting to this whole situation and understanding myself even more through those sleepless nights. I hope there comes a day when I can finally say no to the questions from the Sleepless song.
(*) lyrics from Lyricskpop.net
(**) lyrics from Epik High Translations
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