The real me.
For the longest time in my life I have been scared of judgment or maybe better said, scared of feeling disdain from others. I tend to not post a lot online and social media because we live in a society where how we are accepted and admired online generally beats out the way we see each other in real life.
There are many times that I would have liked to post a photo of me and my friends or commented something funny, but the fear of nobody liking it and me feeling like I would be a failure had stopped me. I resorted to only posting about subjects that I knew would receive lots of acclaim, like for example when I graduated.
This is not the way life should be lived though. I love to express myself but with a big dark cloud of fear hovering over my head I’ve never gotten the chance to truly do it.
So 4 weeks ago I started a channel on youtube. Being able to express one’s self through the creative medium of video and with the intimacy that an outlet like youtube provides seemed like it would be the perfect fit for me.
Still though, I did not post anything to my main social media’s about it because I was afraid of what people would think or say, or that no one would react and acknowledge it at all. So I shared it with only my closest friends and kept uploading just for them.
I’m tired of living my life behind a facade. I want the ability to express myself to a wider audience, not shelter myself behind just the people whom already love me for who I am. I want to be able to be me whenever and however and not have be worried about what others think. So today I am putting me, the real me out in the world. No more facades, no more secrecy or shyness. Just the real me.
I don’t care anymore if only 5 people or no one at all acknowledges or likes what I do. I’m doing this for me now, and people whom want to join me for the ride are more than welcome to.
To those of you whom have been there from the very start and supported me even when I thought I wouldn't be able to do it, I honestly couldn’t be more happy to have you in my life.
To everyone else. Hi there, it’s me. The real me.