We’re out of toothpaste

“What do we need other than toothpaste?”

“We need napkins.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right.”

“And paper towels.”

“Did we use up all the paper towels again because we ran out of napkins?”

“Of course. We also need conditioner.”

“Mine or yours?”

“What’s that?”

“Mine or yours? Will you just come here and check the bottle and tell me if this is my conditioner or yours? What are you doing in there?”

“I’m looking out the window.”

“At what?”

“There’s an orange van next door. I think they’re taking away the O’Malleys.”

“My conditioner is for thinning hair, right? Yours is the normal one? I wish they’d just put that on the dang bottle.”

“Yours has the gold triangles on it.”

“I don’t ever remember seeing that. Just come over here and show me what I should be looking at.”

“It looks like Mr. O’Malley is refusing to let them in.”

“I wonder what they did. You sure it’s not gold diamonds?”


“The orange vans don’t come for you unless you did something, right?”

“I guess so.”

“What was it that you said your co-worker did?”

“Threatened to break into the Governor’s mansion. And it was her husband.”

“Was this online? That she did this?”

“I don’t know. They didn’t exactly say. And it was her husband.”

“Oh, sorry. They took her husband then?”

“Well, both of them. They’re trying to force their way in now.”

“We need cereal bars too, right? And smoothie mix. Didn’t we say we wanted to make smoothies next Sunday?”

“They’ve got him down on the ground.”

“Oh heck!”

“What’s is it?”

“I just realized that I never returned that old blender I borrowed from Mr. O’Malley. I wish I’d remembered to do that.”

“His wife is coming out now. She’s got the kids. They’re getting in the van peacefully. I think they’re crying.”

“Well that’s good. I mean, the peaceful part. I guess I’ll return it when they come back. How long do the orange vans take people for again?”

“Around ten months… I think.”

“That’s not too long. Wasn’t your cousin Janelle taken 12 months ago?”

“Yeah. But… well, the news said everyone who they took over ten months ago is delayed because of a database error. Once they fix it they should be home soon.”


“Didn’t the O’Malleys just have a baby?”


“It was just Mr. and Mrs. and the two kids who got in the van. Wasn’t there a baby?”

“I’m not sure. They’ve been keeping to themselves a lot lately. Which I guess is telling.”


“Well I guess that’s enough excitement for one…”

“Would it be crazy if I went over there?”

“For what?”

“To look for a baby.”

“Really? Where do you think you’d find a baby?”

“I don’t know. Maybe… somewhere not easy… to get to… maybe.”


“Never mind. It’s a silly thought. Forget I said anything.”

“No, no. I think you should go. If it’ll make you happy. In fact, take the blender with you. You can leave it on the kitchen counter for when they get back.”