Strung Out Again

I wake up all sweaty and breathless. I dreamt with her again. Fourth time this week. That’s clearly not good for me. It doesn’t matter how many had came and gone after her, and they were plenty, that adolescent love always comes back. Even knowing that I’m better off this way, these dreams always make me want to call her. But I won’t.

I light a cigarette and open the window. The sun is setting. How long did I sleep? I get my phone to look at the time and see a pleasant text.

“I want sex.” It said. That’s weird, it’s usually me looking for a booty call when the unexpected horniness strikes.

“Come over, I not doing anything.” I text back.

I put on a Muddy Waters record to play and put two lines on the cover. I laugh by myself when I see that the lines look like they’re entering Muddy’s nostrils on the picture.

“How are you?” She asks after saying hello with a kiss on my mouth.

“I dreamt with her again.” I say locking the door.

“Fuck, again?” She asks following me to the bedroom.

“Teach me how to control my dreams and I swear I’ll stop.”

I light a cigarette while she roams the room as if she’s here for the first time.

“What about your girl? Cancelled on you?” I ask.

“No. And she’s not my girl.”

“But she wants to be. I’ve already told you, you’ll never be able to commit if you keep being this lazy.”

“I know, and I’ve been thinking about what you said. But I don’t know…”

“Forgetting that I want to fuck you and dressing a friend uniform here: Life is simple, we’re the ones who complicate it. If she wants you and you want her, there’s not much to think about. Where’s she now?”

“Dunno, her house, I think.”

“Oh, so you were only missing a dick?” I ask going back to being the guy who wants to fuck above the guy who’s a friend.

She doesn’t answer and the only sound is the one coming for the record player for a few seconds.

“You didn’t say you had blow.” She points at the half empty bag on the desk.

“I have some, do you want it?” I offer. She refuses. “Can I snort it on you?”

“Only if you write about it.”

I just smile while she lays naked on my bed. I make a couple of long lines that go from her chest to her groin. I snort it all at once and lick the remains. I feel the energy flowing through my body like an adrenaline punch.

If I don’t sleep, I don’t dream.

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