It’d be one thing if you future you would be okay with this, but I’m not sure that will be the case. It’s very easy to be nonchalant about the state of your finances now, but it gets much harder as you grow older. Being a broke twentysomething is hailed as a rite of passage in popular culture. A broke person in their 30s and 40s is either ignominious or invisible.
There’s a famous bit of dialogue: “how did you go bankrupt?” “two ways, gradually and then suddenly”, and from what I’ve gleaned in your writing, it seems like you are on that track. I would advise that you seriously reconsider both your attitude and your strategy as far as your finances are concerned.