Wikipedia Thinks I’m a Lesbian — And This Bisexual Is Okay With That

a single box can’t say everything there is to say about sex

“Not sure how you identify, but wasn't sure if you knew you were listed as a lesbian on Wikipedia,” a friend emailed me, with this link to a list of gay, lesbian or bisexual people. Based on something I wrote almost ten years ago for a lesbian website, I scored an “L.” I wrote back: “I ID as bi, thank you for passing this on.” But both my shorthand response and the lone letter don’t tell the whole story — in fact, I’d argue, no single label will ever be enough to detail someone’s entire sexual self.

What we do or say about ourselves online may only be part of that story. I’m sure you know (or perhaps are) someone whose public online sexual identity doesn’t necessarily match what you do — or think about — in private. For people who identify anywhere outside the categories of 100% gay or straight, there’s a lot of room for gray areas. We may not want to label ourselves, or at various times may feel we fall on different points on the spectrum of sexual orientation. We may claim both/and rather than either/or. All of those (or none of these) are okay.

That’s the beauty of being able to try on identities — and I don’t mean “pretending” to be something you’re not, but rather that by living our lives, many of us, at some point or another, may slip out of these very neat, tidy labels, whether they pertain to sexual orientation, monogamy, kink or any other…