Don’t try to control Outcomes
Everyone wants to control outcomes — want to win exams, want to win in relations, want to win in startups. Think for a moment, ain’t it true? You want to control the outcome of every event that happens in your life. Now think again — can you control the outcomes? No, you can’t.
Let me explain. You can take choices. For eg; you can choose to take entrepreneurship as the career. or choose to take her out for a dinner to make her happy. But you still can’t control the outcomes. You can fail in your startup and you can have a bad quarrel at the dinner table.
Why is this topic worth discussing?
It is a super important topic because ‘THE WANT’ to control outcomes is the foremost stress/tension creator in your life. When you want to win something so badly and start thinking only about it, you will end up stressing yourself out. Whether you stress out or not,
OUTCOMES ARE NOT UNDER YOUR CONTROL!!!
Some people freak out, goes to depression, anxiety, stress disorders and what not because of their uncontrollable thoughts about the outcome they want. Some others engage themselves in prayers and rituals. When they don’t reach what they want, they get devastated. In the first place, if they hadn’t tried so hard to control the outcome, they would have been in a better position to accept the result(s).
What are you actually doing when you are trying to control the outcome?
Trying to control the results is actually out of FEAR. The fear of what will happen if the outcome doesn’t turn out the way you want it to. It also goes on to say that you always know what is best for you. But when you think about this, you will know that you don’t always know what is best for you.
One of my batchmate friend in college couldn’t make it to a placement after reaching to the final round. He got out as one of three rejections out of 71. Needless to say, he was very sad. He wanted to control the outcome, which he couldn’t.
He joined another company and worked for 2 years I believe. Meanwhile, he tried for MS, got admission, did his MS and currently working in Nvidia as a GPU engineer I think. When I see him driving BMW 320D in Silicon Valley, I think to myself, if he had got the company we all got placed to, probably he would have simply continued there.
Then what should I do & what do I have in my control?
This second, what we call the present, is mostly under your control. In this second, you can choose to decide or choose to execute things which can increase your probability to the outcome that you want. For eg; if you keep building startups until you succeed, then you are doing everything needed to increase your probability to succeed (which is the outcome you want). If you choose to study and keep writing the exams, then your chances of succeeding it is much higher. Yeah. No rocket science there. But whatever you do, the probability of 1 is unachievable.
Start practising to leave the thoughts about the outcomes. Some people leave the outcome by saying ‘It is fate and destiny’. Some others might say ‘My god will take care of me’. Some will say ‘I do good things, I have good Karma’ whichever is your way, have faith in it.
Start solely focusing on your efforts. Do your best work. Choose the options which you think will take you closer to where you want to be. You anyways don’t know what is best for you, so you would rather do your work
‘If you are in the right direction, you just keep walking and you should reach your destination wherever it is’.
With the right decisions, you might end up sooner than later.
My favorite theory about this is ‘Do your best, Leave the rest’
PS: Thanks to my mentor who helped me to align my thoughts about this topic.