2015: The Year that broke my back…almost
Well, it’s not frequently that I resort to posting online but this day, I would like to believe is occasion that calls for it. What’s the occasion? The occasion is to heave a huge sigh of relief and sound “from the rooftops of the World, my barbaric yawp” and more importantly “RIP, 2015”.
You see, I had been struggling with a few things in my life, nothing really serious, usual travails of job et al but they had been sapping at my energy for a while. And then came this really Hiroshima Nagasaki of a date on 6th August, 2015. I came quite close to giving it all up, packing my bags and head home saying, I am done “taking this year that just won’t stop punching me” in my face for every handshake I extend. And anyone who knows me, knows this — I don’t give up. I may rail against my circumstances and take the liberty of cribbing with close ones but I DO NOT GIVE UP. So, when I was throwing in the towel that day, I sent shock waves through the people who love me. And I can tell, looking back now, I was at my breaking point, my very first. It’s the usual suspects who rescued me that day — top of the line up obviously, Amma, Nana. Next up, the poor “country folks”(read as navi Mumbai) Bhai and bhabhi (Vicky, Ruchi); and the most, most persevering souls who have been through my life as much as me in the recent years — Preeti, Beethi, Anannya, Moumita and the most unlikely of all my wild and free idiot, Rumass. I really would have not retained my sanity if not for each one of these people. They bring the balance to my life that I am incapable of bringing solely on my own. But then, much to my great relief, that date and everything it symbolised in my life is all in the past. At least, I would like to believe so and hope. As another dear friend, Rim gurumaiya of mine told me once, that you know, when things are rough and you feel you can’t take it anymore right in your bones and soul, that instant, that’s when the tide will turn. And luckily for me, it did. Actually now that I look back, beginning that very weekend. So yes, am yearning and itching to say Goodbye to this year in the most spectacular fashion “country style”. ;)
It would be wrong on my part to obscure this year, only with the hardship I felt and not the realizations and celebrations I had esp. after my personal Hiroshima Nagaksaki day. The year brought me many new experiences after that, especially after that, and realizations. One very difficult realization that I am trying hard to implement: Let it Go. Another, I love the people in my life, a lot, more than even I realize at times and well, in the stone cold of reality of life, that is something. Yet another, travelling alone for pleasure is SERIOUS PLEASURE. Also, I realized that, as much as a lot of people would disagree, I am bad with words. The words just don’t flow only. Oh, don’t roll your eyes/smirk/smile on that after the length of this — it’s TRUE and its one of the better things of this year. Am learning to let go!
So, here I am, with a wide smile after a huge sigh, with my shoulders much relaxed now, itching to get ready for the evening bash. And much as my sanity knows not many things change in the following day, but am celebrating the things that have and so, goodbye, 2015 — the year that broke my back…almost. Cheers everyone and hope we all have a fantastic 2016!